Do You Ever Have One of Those Days?

You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones where you just want to throw yourself (or someone else) out a window and curl up in bed and ignore everybody? Yeah, I'm there. It has been a day from hell. I don't know if I was the grumpy one or if Elodie was the grumpy one or both, but we were not a dynamic duo today. In fact, we were pretty much as static in our position of repetitive grumpiness as two people could get.

Morning came far too early this morning, and the afternoon nap wasn't long enough. Robbie keeps forgetting to print off clue two for the MS4, so I haven't even had the opportunity to escape to my lace. The sock will be getting some action tonight. I will also be getting some blizzard action from my husband who happens to have worked all day in Red Deer and then abandoned me for a meeting this evening. Who knows when he'll be home, but he'll be bringing some ice cream, dammit!

I think I need to get my meds refilled.

Things around the house are stagnant. I have all these huge dreams for updating and upgrading our new house, but, well, a person needs money to do that. Factor into the equation that I had been hoping to travel to Denmark to visit my family next year, but that trip has now been called into question (not by me, but by my parents), so I don't know if I'm going. I'm depressed about it because I need a definite date for that trip so that we can plan the next stag eof our family. If I get pregnant and the date changes to a yes, I probably can't go because I was super sick last time, and I don't want to risk it this time.

Also, I'm terrified of having to give birth in a hospital again. It was, honestly, a horrible experience. I had to argue for most of the labour with an over-zealous OB/GYN who wanted to hook me up to Syntocinon and throw on a fetal monitor and strap me into a bed and just get that baby out NOW. She managed to keep me strapped to a bed, but I managed to argue enough during transition that she didn't get her way.

So Robbie and I are looking into a midwife. Did you know that Alberta is the ONLY province in Canada that regulates midwives but doesn't publically fund them? It costs $3,500 to give birth with a midwife attending you. And yet, the system is overloaded, there's not enough labour and delivery beds to go around, midwives are RECOMMENDED by the World Health Organization for low-risk births, and we're behind the times.

Okay, not as behind as some countries (did you know that having a midwife is illegal in 11 states??), but behind. Our peers are soaring ahead of us, England is moving toward a very aggressive midwife-friendly L&D approach, 40,000 babies were born in Ontario last year with midwives, and here Robbie and I are, contemplating how we're going to save up $3,500 for the birth of our next child.

Okay. Rant over.


Mary said...

its illegal in 11 states? you know... that really makes sense to me. I betcha they are the midwestern states. I've never known anyone to have a midwife till I moved to California. Hmmmm... food for thought.

I hope you feel better tomorrow and get your dates figured out. Hope Robbie brings home ice cream!

Annie said...

that sucks hon... go kick something... and feel better soon.

Trish said...

This is awful. A midwife wouldn't have worked for me (high-risk twin birth), but I know plenty of people who have had one. Do you think you'll be able to save the money or will you do it in hospital? I hope you are able to do what will make you happy. All pregnant women should be made happy every minute of every day!

Tangerine Dreams said...

I found you through NaturalBardot! Sorry to hear about your crappy experience in the hospital. I'm pretty close to homebirth number 2 and have to say the first one was worth every penny and then more! I know its so ridiculous the situation in Alberta (we're in BC now where it's funded) but Edie was born in Calgary and the care we received was extraordinary. You should watch, if you can, Business of Being Born (produced by Ricki Lake). Nicely presented though it's American where it is pretty bad medicalized birth scene. Good luck!