You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones where you just want to throw yourself (or someone else) out a window and curl up in bed and ignore everybody? Yeah, I'm there. It has been a day from hell. I don't know if I was the grumpy one or if Elodie was the grumpy one or both, but we were not a dynamic duo today. In fact, we were pretty much as static in our position of repetitive grumpiness as two people could get.
Morning came far too early this morning, and the afternoon nap wasn't long enough. Robbie keeps forgetting to print off clue two for the MS4, so I haven't even had the opportunity to escape to my lace. The sock will be getting some action tonight. I will also be getting some blizzard action from my husband who happens to have worked all day in Red Deer and then abandoned me for a meeting this evening. Who knows when he'll be home, but he'll be bringing some ice cream, dammit!
I think I need to get my meds refilled.
Things around the house are stagnant. I have all these huge dreams for updating and upgrading our new house, but, well, a person needs money to do that. Factor into the equation that I had been hoping to travel to Denmark to visit my family next year, but that trip has now been called into question (not by me, but by my parents), so I don't know if I'm going. I'm depressed about it because I need a definite date for that trip so that we can plan the next stag eof our family. If I get pregnant and the date changes to a yes, I probably can't go because I was super sick last time, and I don't want to risk it this time.
Also, I'm terrified of having to give birth in a hospital again. It was, honestly, a horrible experience. I had to argue for most of the labour with an over-zealous OB/GYN who wanted to hook me up to Syntocinon and throw on a fetal monitor and strap me into a bed and just get that baby out NOW. She managed to keep me strapped to a bed, but I managed to argue enough during transition that she didn't get her way.
So Robbie and I are looking into a midwife. Did you know that Alberta is the ONLY province in Canada that regulates midwives but doesn't publically fund them? It costs $3,500 to give birth with a midwife attending you. And yet, the system is overloaded, there's not enough labour and delivery beds to go around, midwives are RECOMMENDED by the World Health Organization for low-risk births, and we're behind the times.
Okay, not as behind as some countries (did you know that having a midwife is illegal in 11 states??), but behind. Our peers are soaring ahead of us, England is moving toward a very aggressive midwife-friendly L&D approach, 40,000 babies were born in Ontario last year with midwives, and here Robbie and I are, contemplating how we're going to save up $3,500 for the birth of our next child.
Okay. Rant over.