Plied

The Toy

2011-10-12T19:09:00.002-06:00

I took Elodie to McDonald's today, which is something we do a few afternoons a week. She's in kindergarten now, but is only on half days, so is home with me in the afternoons. We often get bored or tired or frustrated being cooped up in the house, so we pack up the knitting and walk a few blocks to McDonald's. I get a diet coke and knit while Elodie plays with the many kids that are always in the play place.

Today, we both saw something that made us both a little sad. There was a little boy that E was playing with. He seemed to be really sweet, and they were having a great time. When his mom said it was time to go, the boy was upset that they were leaving. She hauled him into the bathroom. Several minutes later, the boy came out very red faced, like he'd been crying very hard. As they were leaving, she told him to "shut up", and then threw his toy into the garbage.

Now, I do not, by any means, have a clean mouth. In fact, it's usually quite filthy. But there's one thing that I cannot abide, and that's the words "shut up" uttered at another human being. I'll drop the eff word without the slightest hesitation. But telling another person to shut up is demeaning. And a mother telling her child that, her five-year-old child, is absolutely, unquestionably wrong in my books. To me, it's beyond rude. And to tell your child to shut up and then throw away one of their possessions is awful.

I am totally scarred by that interaction I witnessed today, and will take this opportunity to remind myself that abuse comes in all sorts of forms. Whenever a person makes another feel bad about themselves, it's abuse. It is our jobs as parents to guide our children, but to also empower them so they make proper choices, not to berate them and make them feel worthless.

Parents, take note, your words stick with your children. And they mean something.

Wheat Free

2011-10-09T23:15:00.004-06:00

Our family has decided to eliminate wheat from our diet.

Background: Last year, I decided enough was enough and started seeing a nutritionist. In six months, I lost 30 pounds. I stopped going in May of this past year, and while I haven't gained much at all (five pounds maybe?), I've noticed that our whole family eats A LOT of wheat. Look in your supermarket, and you'll see that there's wheat in probably 75% of the food there. I've also noticed that if I eat bread or something with quite a bit of wheat in it, I feel awful. My tummy hurts, I get a headache, I have difficulty breathing, sometimes I experience chest pain. And now my daughter has been complaining of a sore tummy every time she has a bowl of KD(macaroni and cheese), or if she has a sandwich. We switched to rye bread well over a year ago, but even that has whole wheat flour in it.

Also, wheat consumption has been tied to infertility, so hey, maybe it'll do something if I cut it out.

So we're going to try this little experiment and see if it does anything to improve how we feel. I'm going a bit more extreme and cutting out all grains except for rice, gluten-free oats and quinoa. This is day two for me, and I'm already feeling pretty decent. Please note that today is Thanksgiving up here in Canada, though, so that meant that I didn't get any bun with my turkey dinner, or stuffing (not that I like stuffing anyway), and no pie crust on my apple pie. And boy, did I ever want that bun!!

Wish me luck. I'll keep you all posted on how this goes.

Bring on the Baby Knits!

2011-09-28T16:08:00.003-06:00

Sorry for the extended radio silence. It's been a really, really busy few months.

My best friend, who has been my best friend for nearly 20 years, is expecting her first baby in February. Not only do I get to be her doula, and watch her make the amazing transformation from woman into mother, but I also get to be an auntie!! YAY! I love her very much, and am so, so excited to meet her little one. She's going to be one heck of an awesome mama.

So anyway, she found out she's having a boy, and I broke out the knitting needles. You should see my Ravelry queue.

After seeing the beautiful Puerperium Cardigan that the Yarn Harlot did, I decided to cast one on myself. Of course, I got a little loopy right in the beginning and put my darn markers on in the wrong order (meaning backward, if you can believe it), and so the cardigan closes on the opposite side, and the buttons are on the front, not the back. *sigh*. You would think after half a decade of very dedicated knitting, I would have learned to count??

But you know what, the baby isn't going to mind. Next up, Demne. Also, I found a new use for my Touchpad.

Update and Omorika

2011-06-03T02:42:00.004-06:00

I know, I know, I skipped a whole month. In my defense, Elodie had her birthday, and it was spectacular. She had a tea party.

Like a crazy person, I worked all damn day the day before making cake pops in the shape of wee teapots.

The kids enjoyed them.

I also performed at the Jubilee Auditorium in front of a whole bunch of people. I'm in the professional division of the Youth Singers of Calgary, in OnCue. We're an a cappella group of nine that performs in and around Calgary. The last month has been riddled with performances.

(I'm the one to the right of the person holding the microphone.)

I finished designing a shawl.

I love it. It turned out super beautiful.

And a seriously quick knit.

Let The Anger Out!

2011-04-12T14:47:00.002-06:00

Well, I'm on Clomid now. This is the second cycle of those beastly little pills, and I'm ready to pitch them out the window. You only take them for five days a cycle, and then your body goes into overdrive for the rest of the month. PMS becomes SUPER PMS, and sore bewbs become SUPER sore bewbs, and a little hormonal acne becomes a complete crater face! The doctor's theory is that while I am ovulating, I'm popping immature follicles, thereby making them extremely hard to fertilize. So the hope is that this drug will increase the maturity of those follicles and make them easier for the little tadpoles to penetrate.

Seriously, how did anyone ever get pregnant?!

I was seriously sad when the first cycle didn't work. I mean, I suppose it's to be expected, but I'm not a very patient person. Despite my years of knitting and spinning, when I want things, I want them NOW.

One thing that is seriously concerning me, though, about this drug is the increased risk of multiples. Twins. In a normal pregnancy, a person has about a 1-3% chance of conceiving twins. In a Clomid pregnancy, that risk increases to at least 10%. At least. If twins run in your family (which they do) or your husband's family (which they do), your chance goes up even past that, sometimes breaching 30%. While I would love to get pregnant, a twin pregnancy would freak me right the frack out.

I mean, I was a neanderthal with just ONE in there! What would happen with two?! I'll tell you what would happen. I'd be a house.

My mom has been having dreams and inklings that when I get pregnant again, I'll have twin boys. And every psychic she's gone to (if you prescribe to that sort of thing) has said that I'd have a girl and two boys.

Anyway, here's hoping this is the last cycle I need this little wee crazy pills and that life in my house can go back to normal. As an example of how damn crazy this pills make me: On Saturday night, Elodie picked "The Giving Tree" as her bedtime story. It is such a beautiful story. And I have read it to her dozens of times.

Well, I had to call Robbie in to finish it. Every time the damn tree gave the boy another piece of herself because she loved him so much, I would start crying. I couldn't finish it! And for the last three of my births, I've been a blubbering mess when baby is born. There's something about watching a two-minute old baby staring at her mom like, Oh, so this is what your face looks like, that just makes me break down. And when the mama looks at me next and says thank you, like I did something to create this beautiful moment? Forget it! I'm incoherent.

Anyway. I have been knitting, and crocheting, but I just haven't had time to snap pictures. Next time I post, I'll get a few pictures of the WIPs I have going on (two sweaters) and some of the hats I've crocheted recently. Gotta love baby hats.

Completing the Circle

2011-03-12T12:14:00.006-07:00

When Robbie's mom passed away, there were five people in the room. Vera (Robbie's mom), Jack (Robbie's stepdad), Toby (Robbie's brother), Robbie and me. It was something I found myself oddly suited for, being the odd man out, the one who hadn't known Vera for that long and supporting the ones around me as she passed on. I rubbed her feet, gave her wet sponges to suck on, brushed her hair, and told her it was okay to go. And she did.

After she passed, I straightened her legs, closed her eyes, and placed her hands in a peaceful position. I made Robbie and his brother eat something. Hugged and cried with those around me. I made the calls to let people know she was gone. It was a sacred role, and one that I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Last night, I stepped into the role of support again, but this time in a very different situation. My first doula client was in labour, and I got to be there to support her and her husband through the birth of their first baby. It was a fast labour. She was eight centimetres by the time we got to the hospital, and the baby was born only two hours later, a beautiful boy.

Again, I find myself oddly suited to this job, and I saw some striking parallels. I held mom's hand, rubbed her back and gave her sips of water and ice chips. I let her know what was going on, when baby was *almost* there. I let her know it was okay to be scared, and okay to make the jump into motherhood. And she did.

After the birth, I took pictures, hugged the new parents, admired the new arrival and stayed to talk them through their first few minutes as parents, how to hold baby, try and decide who he looks most like. The entire way home, I kept thinking to myself, "I watched his first gasp of air and heard his first cry." I thought it over and over, because it was such a huge honor to be there to see and hear it.

It was a sacred role. I will not forget it.

Elodie's Sweater

2011-03-09T17:52:00.002-07:00

While I (im)patiently await the labour of my first client (I have three for this month), I knit my daughter a sweater. This is only the third thing I've ever knit the poor kid. You'd never guess she was the daughter of a knitter.

I knit this without a real pattern, just loosely based on the Snug that I knit for my cousin's baby. I cast on 64 stitches, used 20 for the arm holes, and nixed the hood, opting for a little scoop neck instead. It's quite cute, if I do say so myself. Of course she's thrilled.

The one thing she specifically asked for was thumb holes. I put those in for her on the sleeves to keep the sweater from exposing little wrists in the cool spring and falls. It fulfills my requirements for a sweater in that it's easy enough to make it bigger. The sleeves have plenty of length, and I can easily unpick the button edge and expand the front. Depending on how big she gets and how quickly I can even cut the back, pick up the exposed stitches, extend the back and kitchener together.

There's nothing quite so nice as a cuddly sweater on a cold day, and we've had plenty of cold days here lately. I've already cast on the next sweater, despite having not finished my Royale yet (damn you, second sleeve!). My grandfather was in the hospital this past week with an infection in his spine due to an epidural they gave him for back pain (he's had chronic back pain for 40 years). I decided the man needs a warm sweater. He's seriously one of the kindest people ever, but he never complains. Ever. Despite not having slept more than four hours a night for the last 20 years because of his pain, despite needing frequent baths each day to help combat it, he never complains.

I called him this past week and asked how he was feeling. "Terrible," he said. "I'm really hurting right now." That's when you know it's awful. It was rather shocking to hear him admitting to not being okay. So the man deserves miles of stockinette, hours and hours of work, and a continual woolly hug from me, his first grandchild.

Sort of Snuggly

2011-02-28T17:30:00.002-07:00

My cousin and his wife welcomed a baby boy, Trysten, into the world in January. While trying to decide what to get the kid, I decided (the night before heading up to see him) that I'd knit him something. I'd recently helped my friend, Terra, finish her Snug sweater for her baby-to-be, and I knew it was a reasonably easy pattern, being all in garter stitch.

So off to Ravelry I went to download the pattern. I cast on in Brown Sheep Lamb's Pride in a really lovely mossy variegated green and started knitting. At 9:00 at night. What on earth was the matter with me.

I knit until 3:00 a.m. modifications were in order (running out of yarn). Hood was nixed. Robbie had picked up wee wooden buttons for me from the store. Sleep was in order.

The next morning, I finished the sweater, sewed on the buttons and headed up to my cousin's town two hours away on rather treacherous roads. I would have turned around if I hadn't been worried about the fit. See, while the pattern says it will fit a 0-6 month old, due to stretchy fit, it did not look like anything a six month old boy would fit. In fact, Trysten's two months was looking iffy.

The two-hour drive took me three hours. There were flipped cars in the ditch. I nearly went off the road at least three times. Visibility was low to none at points.

But you know what?

It's a good thing I went. That sweater barely fit. But it sure did. YAY!

Success!

2011-02-22T00:21:00.002-07:00

I'm officially a doula! Not yet certified, but fully trained! Very exciting.

I had an excellent, crazy-busy weekend of learning. I took my course through Elmont Birth Services, taught by Elaine from Elmont and Jennifer from Hip Mamas. Both were incredibly knowledgeable and sweet. Between the two of them, they had so much experience that I was in awe every time they opened their mouths.

The group of girls was excellent as well. Each was passionate about birth for their own reasons, and each was a pleasure to hang around with. Our class of 15 laughed all weekend. I feel far more prepared for my chosen profession and ready to tackle the upcoming births that I'm possibly attending. This week, I have four interviews with various possible clients to discuss if I'm the doula for them. Another two are in the wings, and it's all-in-all very exciting.

As for knitting news, things are chugging along. Despite only having one sleeve left on Royale, I'm being lazy and not finishing it just yet. I have a pattern that NEEDS releasing, but that means I have to finish testing it. So far, so good. Then I have to write the pattern itself, of course. That's the worst part of designing!

So I think I'll finish up the edging tomorrow (maybe tomorrow and Wednesday) and then write the pattern up on Thursday. Release on Friday. Ish. Then back to Royale. Stay tuned for finished pictures!

XO

Dear Jillian

2011-02-08T16:50:00.000-07:00

DUDE. You make me hurt and sweat and pant and cry. You kicked my ass AGAIN today.

I love you.

Day two of 30 Day Shred.

Love Kayla

To Do.

2011-01-26T00:17:00.002-07:00

I have a big list of stuff I would like to accomplish this year. I thought it might be productive to write them all down.

1. Lose the last 25 pounds. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!
2. Become a doula
3. Finish the fracking floor.
4. Teach a knitting class
5. Drink less wine, more water.
6. Finish Elodie's dollhouse so that it will be something for her to cherish (otherwise known as don't let it look like crap)
7. Knit for every baby that comes along this year.
8. Exercise more
9. Enjoy my last summer at home with Elodie before she starts school in the fall.
10. Knit more for me.
11. (This is a big one) Increase my income by 50%.
12. GET KNOCKED UP.
13. Design and publish four patterns.
14. Spend my time more wisely.
15. Call my grandparents every week, and write a letter to my Bedstefar every week in Danish.

I'll be able to cross number four off my list fairly shortly. I'll be teaching a beginner's lace class at The Knitting Room starting in March. Spots are limited, so please call Annie to sign up if you're interested. It will be FUN!

I'm also well on my way to accomplishing number 11. I intend to be a certified doula by July or August (preferably July), and then I'll be accepting four births a month while still doing my transcription business. Robbie and I are on track to be debt-free (besides mortgage) in two years, and I intend to keep it that way!

You can "like" my Facebook group for my doula business here. I am currently offering my services to clients in June, July and August (four spots in each) for free in order to increase my experience. If you know of anyone in the Calgary area (including Airdrie, Crossfield, Carstairs, Cochrane, Strathmore, Chestermere, Beiseker, Okotoks and High River) who may benefit from such services, please pass along my name and Facebook address. It would be much appreciated!

Anyway, so hopefully 2011 turns out good. I'm hoping to cross every, single one of those goals off my list, although I understand that some of them are beyond my control. I will be revisiting these goals on the last day of each month. Stay tuned to see just how many I finish!

Yar, Matey

2011-01-24T14:50:00.001-07:00

Elodie has been learning about pirates. This leads to lots of pirate talk around our house lately. Yar Matey seems to be her new fave saying, along with "booty" and "scurvy".

There's nothing scurvy about this, though, maties!

Almost. finished.

In other news, Elodie is now registered for kindergarten starting in the fall. OMG. The time has flown.

Pan Dieter Von SpaceCat.

2011-01-18T19:39:00.005-07:00

We have a new furry running around the house.

It all started when, on a whim, we went to the Humane Society after picking Elodie up from a weekend with Robbie's dad. We looked at the dogs and the bunnies. I saw an angora that I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tempted by. But then we went to Elodie's favourite part, the kitties.

They CHS has been overrun for years. Despite having a fairly new facility, the cat population is huge, and there's not enough room for all the cats. Our old cat, Ciaty, was a rescue from CHS, and I've always said our next cat would be a rescue, as well.

We had no intention of getting a kitty, but as we were walking up the aisle, one kitty saw Elodie and started frantically rubbing up against his glass, kneading the window and mewing at Elodie. I just couldn't help myself. I asked to meet that kitty.

We went into a little room with this cat, named Dieter, a tiny black-and-white stray. He and Elodie were like automatic best friends. They'd anticipate each others' movements. She'd run, and he'd run with her. He wouldn't take his eyes off her.

We put Dieter back and headed home. Elodie kept reminding us how much she loved that kitty and how she's give him food and clean his litter box every day. Later that night, Robbie and I decided to do it. We would adopt that kitty.

The next day, we drove to pick Elodie up from daycare, and then told her we were going for a drive and just headed into Calgary. She soon fell asleep, and 40 minutes later, we were in front of the Humane Society. Elodie was groggy and didn't figure out where we were until we were in the building. Then she asked if she could go see that kitty again. We said sure, and off she trotted, dragging us behind her.

I sat down at the adoption table to start the process, and Elodie was happily oblivious for ten minutes. Then she asked why he had a cut on his bum. We explained what neutering was, and that Dieter had been neutered that day. She asked why they don't want cats to have kittens because kittens are just so cute. We explained that there are so many cats in the world that there aren't enough homes for them, and some kitties have to spend their whole lives in places like this, without a family. She asked if Dieter would have to do that. We said, no, because we're taking Dieter home with us.

She was SO excited! Pretty soon, we packed him in the little cardboard box thing, paid our fee, and left for home with our new pet. He's really Elodie's cat. We spent the entire ride home trying to pick a new name for him. I went to school with a very strange boy named Dieter, and had no desire to be reminded of him every time I called the cat's name. We finally picked Pan, of the Greek persuasion, and Elodie decided his name is Pan Dieter Von SpaceCat. Don't ask me where she gets these things from.

Here's a picture of the little guy, settling in nicely.

We think he maybe was originally someone's pet, who ran away. He's certainly very affectionate for being a stray. He comes running if a shake the Temptations. He slept between Robbie and I last night and is holding his own against our very curious small dog. The big one doesn't really care. But most important, he and Elodie are like best friends. They romp around the house. She's spent all this evening playing with him, not once turning on the TV. Right now, in fact, she's playing with his mouse and him, tossing and tossing it over and over.

As for myself, I must say, since we put Ciaty down last December, I've been wanting another kitty. I missed the lap snuggles and the purring around our house. Pan has fulfilled both those things just today alone. He snuggled up and fell promptly asleep while I was reading a text book. And he purrs constantly. All in all, it's been a great choice.

Weekend Update

2011-01-16T19:38:00.005-07:00

Robbie and I had a great weekend. We hung out with friends, went dancing at a night club (when does that ever happen?!) and enjoyed alone time. Why? Because Elodie went for a weekend with her Pop, Robbie's dad.

Yesterday, my best friend called late in the afternoon to ask if I was around tonight because she came into town unexpectedly. Her brother, who is on the national Judo team, was in from Montreal and she came down to visit. I've known Amanda for almost 20 years, and we've been best friends since the day we met (maybe since the moment). She knows everything about me, and I know everything about her, and if she were a man, I'd probably be married to her. ;) In fact, I often joke that I married the male version of her. Robbie and Amanda are so similar that it's scary sometimes.

We went to my friend, Cat's, birthday, and then out to the local night club to dance for a bit. It's something I've always loved to do, and although Robbie's a terrible dancer, he tries really hard. Some music cira 1997 came on, and we had lots of fun singing along, and then laughing when all the young kids in the bar asked, "What is this song?" I did appreciate getting ID'ed as well.

Today, I read some of my textbooks for the doula course and stained one of the floors in Elodie's dollhouse.

I like the color of the floor, and the gel stain was easy to apply.

As for the book...I'm not as impressed. It's full of interesting information, but it's extremely one-sided. While I'm a strong advocate for a natural birth experience, there are many reasons that women choose not to participate in that process. This book seems to hint or assume that any woman with an uncomplicated labor who does not opt for a natural birth experience is either uncaring, uneducated or unreasonable.

I guess this just goes to remind me that while I'm a doula, I need to remember to respect the choices of my clients and help them have the birth that's most beneficial to them, whether it's what I would choose or not.

My plan for the months of June and July is to offer my services for free to as many women as I possibly can to gain experience and knowledge. If anybody knows of anyone who may be interested in this, please let me know.

In knitting matters, I've been working hard on my Royale. It's pretty.

I did find some instructions kind of confusing, like the neck shaping, for example, but I've worked it out. It is rather low, but I'm assuming that the hemline will bring it up to a less slutastic cut. When you have a front porch like mine, there's a very thin line between sexy and trashy.

All in all, at this very moment in time, life is wonderful. I love my family. I love my friends. My a capella group is an amazing bunch of people who I treasure spending time with. My bills are paid. My house is warm. I am grateful.

Career Change

2011-01-13T01:14:00.004-07:00

After much deliberation, I've decided to change careers. I'm currently a legal transcriptionist. I take audio files and turn them into hard copies. My work can be anything from insurance claims to police interviews to legal proceedings, and it's a job I can do in my home, in my jammies, usually without a bra. It's allowed me to have sanity, and I do treasure that aspect of my life.

However. It is not something I want to do for the rest of my life. I enjoy aspects of it, but the hours and hours of typing, the need to be self-motivating, it's all rather difficult for me, especially with all the yarn rather close at hand. My husband and I discussed this in depth over the holidays, and together, we've decided it's time for me to change careers. So I've signed up to become a doula.

The word Doula derives from a Greek word meaning servant. She was the head servant in a wealthy Greek family, the one who would help the lady of the house deliver her baby. Now, it's a woman (or man) who supports women in their labour and delivery, advocates for them, helps them through it, and bears witness to their journey. It is not a medical position. A doula does not make medical decisions, but they do offer their support and experience.

Birth is something I'm incredibly passionate about. I was lucky enough to experience an unmedicated labor and delivery of my daughter (although I did have to fight for it). It's my belief that a woman is going to be changed by her delivery, for better or worse, no matter what. I want to be able to help that change be a positive one by being the woman's advocate and support during an incredibly overwhelming time.

I've started the preliminary steps. I've ordered the books I have to read from the library (the ladies are going to think I'm pregnant! Eight books about the physiology of pregnancy, birth, babies and breastfeeding!), started the online breast feeding course, and been in discussions with local doulas about their practices. I've signed up to take the weekend course in May, and then after that, I get to start attending births. I have, maybe, two lined up right now.

After a few years of being a doula, it's my intention to move into midwifery, still offering my services to clients while I go through the four-year midwifery course. It feels so good to be on a path that, while I may not be able to have more children of my own, can help women bring babies into this world in the most optimal conditions, meaning in a way that she chooses and is best for her and her family, and not the way the system dictates.

So. ONWARD!

Elodie's Dollhouse

2011-01-09T13:30:00.003-07:00

For Christmas this year, Santa brought Elodie a dollhouse kit. The kit is for the Glencroft, a Tudor-style cottage. Here's what it will hopefully look like when we're finished:

For now, though, the house looks like this:

I have been at it for probably three hours, and I have more scrapes and burns and splinters than a woodworker, but it's coming along nicely. I have to finish putting it together, mud the joints, sand down the joints, prime the whole thing, paint it, add the roof and shingles, and then, and only then will Elodie and I head to the local craft store to search for felt suitable for carpets, scrapbooking paper suitable for wallpaper, and furniture for her little family.

I think I'm more excited about the finished prospect than Elodie. ;)

Blu.

2011-01-05T14:51:00.002-07:00

On December 31, I cast on a pretty sweater, the first of my cables and colourwork challenge.

The goal of my challenge is to purchase four patterns in the year of 2011 that are either cables or colourwork, buy pretty yarn and make 'em. My usual way of doing things is checking for free patterns and using them with discount yarn (or at least small projects with expensive yarn). And while the Cascade 220 Heathers that I cast this sucker on with is not exactly expensive, seven skeins does pinch my budget a wee bit. I'm a rather frugal person, and even though I know this $70 sweater is not going to break my bank by any means, I still think of other uses for it. I mean, you're looking at the woman who gives her husband an allowance and is on track for the whole family to be debt free (save for the mortgage) by 2012. Just in time for the end of the world. ;)

But it does look so pretty, and the yarn is lovely. The heather bit is hard to pick up in the photo, but it's a very vibrant green running throughout the blue. And while the twisted stitches in the pattern (like, all of the knit stitches...) were something that concerned me, it's really not bad at all. It makes the whole thing look very crisp. So far, I'm enjoying it, although I did knit a few dishcloths to reassure myself that I would be able to knit normally after this.

That bowl in the back is my yarn bowl, by the way. Love them.

In other news, I stepped on the scale this morning for the first time since my birthday on the 28th. On the 28th, it read at 165. Today? 160. Awesome.

For Tammy

2010-12-30T10:12:00.002-07:00

Deep in corners of the mind
Curled and peeled as fading time
Lies a gold-tint aura glow
And knows not strength and loving so.

And through the quiet of this dream
There comes resounding, crashing stream
of type, of song, of aching shout
that pulls all down and spits all out

Angst of loss is crushing blow.
Thus eats the gold-tint aura glow.

I shut my ears and screen my eyes
I push it all and break the ties
I leave it where it just belongs
I hear the rumpled, din, dim song.

Song weak and far and true in pain
and lost and lonely and bathed in rain.
A hand, a guiding light is burst.
A spot, a point, a growing thirst.

That sound erupts, the song sung strains
the glowing aura there remains
The voices join and ebb and flow
we bathe in forever’s warming glow.

It will not, cannot leave us cold,
for we are joined with magic old.
And above all song, a whisper fast.
Body gone. Love will last.

***

Goodbye, Tammy. May we meet again some day.

***

I had previously posted about my friend Tammy. You may read it here. Sadly, my mom called this morning to let me know that Tammy passed away this morning around 6:00 a.m. She died at home, surrounded by her family after a very brave fight with cancer. She will be very missed.

Year of Colour and Cables

2010-12-28T22:16:00.003-07:00

2010 is nearly at an end. I managed to fulfill my goal of designing five things (although one is not yet published). Two shawls, two socks and a scarf. Not too shabby. Now the time comes to plan my knitting goal for 2011.

This year, I've decided to add to the challenge. I intend to purchase patterns, intricate ones that will challenge me, and I will knit them. These patterns will be colour and cables. Perhaps not in both, but something to challenge me in colourwork, whether it be stranded, fair isle or intarsia, and the cables will be CRAZY awesome.

So far, ideas on the table are:

Meisi

Royale

Durmstrang Socks

And maybe something Starmore? I'm not sure yet on that one.

I want to do at least one sweater in each, cables and colour, and I want to do maybe one of the beautiful stranded baby blankets that you see on Ravelry. Knit in the round, steeked and then lined, they're absolutely beautiful.

So. I intend to start the first project in January. I'm thinking Royale will be it. Now to search for the perfect yarn. YAY!

Progress

2010-12-09T11:44:00.004-07:00

I have lost 30 pounds in six months! YAY!

My BMI has gone from 31 to 26.2. I have gone from obese to overweight, and considering a "normal" BMI is 18.1 to 24.9, I'm getting closer. Almost there! My goal is no longer for a weight loss of 60 pounds, but for a total loss of 45-50. That will put me at 140-145, and I'll be perfectly happy. I fully expect it will take another six months before I reach that goal.

Some pictures:

Before @ 192 pounds:

After at 162 pounds:

Ignore some of the makeup in that top picture. I was an elf in a Christmas show. Hence the ears.

So YAY me! Onward!!

What's in a Name?

2010-11-29T17:02:00.002-07:00

Quite a lot, actually.

Today, I cast off my latest shawl design.

It's lovely and a good size, and I like the knit-on edge, the designed centre rather than a "spine" and the yarn. The picture really does not do it justice because it's winter, and although only 5:00 p.m., it's already dark out. Yay northern hemisphere.

There is just one problem. I have NO idea what to name it. Any suggestions?

Secondary

2010-11-24T00:52:00.002-07:00

As of today, my husband and I have been trying to have our second baby for two years. That's 24 months, 104 weeks, 730 days, 17,520 hours of my life, just trying to do what women are made to do. All those weeks and days and hours, I have tried to give my daughter a sibling, someone to have when my husband and I are gone. Throughout that time, I have been told that I'm being selfish, that I should be happy with what I have, that I am complete as it is. I am a sufferer of secondary infertility, and it sucks.

Secondary infertility means, quite simply, that you got pregnant fine the first time around, and the second time around, you are having "difficulty achieving pregnancy." Primary infertility means you can't get pregnant with the first. Primaries don't really understand us secondaries. They seem to have even less pity for those of us (including yours truly) who got pregnant quite by accident (I'm looking at you, birth control pill). I can't say I blame them. I have felt pregnant. More than pregnant. I have felt like a great, waddling, fluffy berry of some kind, definitely overripe and in need of juicing. I've had little niggles rubbing my innards, hugged the toilet while losing the contents of my stomach yet again, and bought ridiculously expensive pants to cling to my ever-expanding waist.

I have my stretch marks, badges I wear with pride rather than shame. I can say that I begged and begged and *begged* for an epidural, only to change my mind and eventually have a baby without any medication. Hell, those are things I'm proud of. I have nursed an infant at all hours of the day and night, spent hours just sticking my tongue out in an effort to get a baby to mimic me, been barfed on, seen a first smile, heard a first giggle, watched the first step she took with such gusto, not knowing how much it would hurt when she fell. I've quelled fears from nightmares, kicked my husband out of bed to let me have a sleep-in day, sent her off for her first day in daycare, told stories, sang songs and largely learned to play again (not something that comes naturally when you spend a great deal of time in your teens trying to show how cool and mature you are).

I am a mom, and that is something that I value so much, I cannot tell you.

However.

However, I find that as a mom of one, I have a lot of fears I don't think some of my friends have. I worry, what if something happens to my brave, beautiful daughter? What if I lose her? How will I live? How will I survive? I will not. That's the simple answer. I would have no reason to at that point. I've confessed this rather odd and disconcerting fear to friends of multiple children, and they confessed they had the same fear. One even went so far as to tell me that when her second was born, one of her first thoughts (besides, "Thank god *that's* over", and "Hey, a baby!" I'm sure) was, "Good. Now if something happens to baby one, I will have a reason to continue."

Part of me wonders if this is in our genetic makeup. I have reason to believe it's in mine. My great-grandmother on my mother's paternal side had 16 children. Two died at birth, and the rest all survived. They were a farming family, and they needed lots of boys to help with the farm and lots of girls to feed them all. Also, they are French Catholics, so that might have something to do with it.

I always loved my large, extended family. My mom has 56 cousins on ONE side. Family reunions consist of literally hundreds of people. Somewhere in the vicinity of 350 last time, I think. There's a reason we only have it once every four years. Our family is loud with everyone swearing (in French, of course), and there's always too much food and too much wine and too many people, but it's great. Kids never go hungry, and there's always someone to play with, whether you're seven and chasing your cousins (and second cousins and third cousins, and sometimes aunts and uncles who happen to be the same age as you), or you're an adult and kicking ass and taking names at cards.

Anyway, I got sidetracked. I love big families. Love them. I've always wanted one. I remember as a kid telling my mom I wanted 12 kids. My mom thought I was crazy, but I wanted to own a bus and drive those kids to school in a short bus. Now that I think about it, that would've been a very stupid idea, but even now, I want three biological children and at least one adopted child (older, so the plan was always to adopt them later in life in order to provide them with the means to best meet their needs). But here we are, facing reality, and reality is we may have an only child.

Adoption is expensive, and we are in no place right now to shell out big bucks for a baby or to provide a stable home and welcome an older child with special needs in. We simply would not have the time to properly support them. My husband is halfway through his master's degree, and we both work.

In vitro fertilization is much more expensive in this province than we originally thought. It's $5,700 for the procedure, one shot, and an additional $5,000 in medication, which may or may not be covered through our healthcare plan.

And my smart, beautiful daughter is almost five. I so wanted her to experience being a sibling, and have someone in her life that would be constant, even after Robbie and I are gone. Right now, I find it so hard to watch my friends and family members get pregnant all around me. I have massive pangs of jealousy when I see their pictures on Facebook. It makes me thoroughly mad when they complain about their pregnancies. Truly, it's not them. It's me. It's that I can't seem to have a second child. My body is broken somehow. And more than anything, I feel secondary. I'm secondary. It feels like my desires are secondary to everybody else's, even though I know it's not the case, and there's no such thing as a universe exacting revenge (at least, I don't believe so), and if anything, I'm a good person who tries hard to be good to others, so if there IS Karma, my goodness should count for something, right?!

We find out definitively next week if we can have children at all. Once and for all, I will know. We make our choice from there. From now on, though, I do not want to be labeled as secondary. I would like to be called "willing to do it all again."

A Promise Broken

2010-11-12T00:07:00.002-07:00

Well...crap. Sorry, dudes. I apparently fell off the face of the earth. It's been a ridiculously busy week with work. Not to mention they had a server crash, and there was a REALLY stupid mistake (not on my part) that screwed me over and put me behind, so stuff was Cra. Zy.

Anyway. Tomorrow. TOMORROW, I will show you those things I promised in my last post. PROMISE.

A Promise Made

2010-11-03T02:21:00.003-06:00

Sorry I've been away for a while. Dealing with hard news is, well, hard to deal with. The HSG was supposed to take place tomorrow, but alas, it will not. The doctor had a family emergency and will be out of the office for two weeks. So next cycle I will brave the procedure and get it done. *sigh*

In other news, I have stuff to show you tomorrow. Tonight I am working a lot, and tomorrow I will have time to write a decent post and show you some pictures. Here's what I'm promising:

1) My stash. I went through it all in a fit of cleaning, and I'm tossing a whole box of crap, and looking for a shelter or a group to donate two big bags full of yarn to (all acrylic), and currently have a Rubbermaid bin full of yarn, a Rubbermaid bin full of fibre, a basket full of works in progress, and a large beach bag full of sock yarn.

2) My projects. I'm spinning for a new project. Pepper and I have spent too much time apart lately, and I gave him a good oiling and a good cleaning, and we've been hanging out.

3) Some wicked stash additions. I got the best little purchase in the mail last week. In a rather significant box. Also, Annie had some great fibre from a destash that I got. YAY.

4) A new picture of moi. 28 pounds, folks. 28 pounds lighter is a significant amount.

Official Diagnosis

2010-10-19T21:59:00.004-06:00

A few weeks ago, I met with the OB/GYN who did my surgery, and we discussed exactly the findings. I also got a copy of the report. Here's the info:

1. The big cyst was not attached to an ovary. It was literally hanging out in the pelvic cavity, attached to nothing. Very odd. It was removed without incident and was benign.
2. The smaller cyst was attached to the right ovary, and removed without incident. It was benign.
3. The right fallopian tube is adhered to the pelvic wall, kinked and heavily scarred.
4. The right ovary is adhered to the uterus and heavily scarred.
5. The left ovary is very minimally scarred.
6. The left fallopian tube is very minimally scarred and very minimally adhered to the uterus.
7. Chances for conception on the right side are significantly reduced.
8. Chances for conception on the left side are minimally reduced and should work as normal.
9. Histology of the scarring is suspected to be the infection post-partum from a bad stitch job by a newbie doctor and/or a uterine infection in December of 2009, cause unknown.
10. The cysts are not expected to recur.
11. The endometrial biopsy was normal, suspected chronic inflammation caused by diet (it dropped significantly after I stopped consuming copious amounts of shit).
12. There was no sign or symptoms of endometriosis, poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, poly-cystic ovaries, or malignancy.

The verdict: I need to have what's called a hysterosalpingogram, which is where they shoot dye through your lady bits and image them via ultrasound to make sure everything's clear. But at this point, we could have normal fertility or very reduced fertility. I have been trying to come to terms with the chance of never conceiving again. We are not willing to go to IVF (IUI would not work if the fallopian tubes are blocked). I am not sure how far we would go with hormone treatments, and surgery may be an option if the fallopian tubes are blocked.

So. Half shitty, half good, I guess.

On Being Thankful

2010-10-11T22:23:00.004-06:00

There's a lot to be said about thanks. So often, it comes off as this flippant, habitual response to nearly anything people say or do. I must say thanks or thank you at least 20 times a day, and I write it even more. In fact, I sign nearly every email with a thanks. To be honest, I rarely mean it.

So it's nice that there's one weekend a year for being thankful for all the really awesome things that one has in their life. For us here in Canada, that's this weekend, Thanksgiving weekend. It's no different than the American Thanksgiving. Well, I guess we don't have the pilgrims. But it's the turkey and the trimmings and the stuffing and the wishbone breaking and the family and pumpkin pie and wine and laughter and company. It's my grandma's kitchen and warm buns and fresh jam and combines in the field and fall jackets and walks to nowhere for no particular reason. It's my grandpa's hugs, my mom's smile, my dad's laugh, and me and my brother being terrible winners at cards.

And it's my daughter dressing up like a princess and my husband holding my hand while we fall asleep in our warm, safe, secure home.

When I share in this weekend, I don't need to remember all the things I'm thankful for because they're all around me and at their best.

New Pattern: Lace Sampler Scarf

2010-10-06T00:41:00.002-06:00

Hello folks!

I've just released my fourth pattern on Ravelry. It's the Lace Sampler Scarf, and it's purdy.

It's four panels, with a fifth that you can either design or leave blank or leave out entirely. It's a nice, fast knit, and I'm so excited to wear it for winter!! I've never owned a hand-knit scarf before (I know, I know, BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD knitter).

The best part is that for a limited time, this pattern is free! Only till December 1st, so if you have Christmas knitting that you want to get a head start on, this is the pattern for you!

Click here to go to the pattern page (Ravelery only).

Weighing in.

2010-09-23T16:14:00.002-06:00

I weighed in a day early today because my nutritionist is not in the office tomorrow. I lost another two pounds! Let me tell you, I have not seen this weight since Elodie was one. I feel so much better, look so much better, and I'm enjoying my new way of life. (I may or may not be eating chips right now...as a reward)

Also, I have some more finished objects to show you!

First up is my lace sampler scarf that I designed for the Knitting Room's introductory lace class that I'll be teaching next month.

The scarf has four main lace panels, which are repeated, as well as "blanks" for the knitter to design their own or leave plain stocking stitch.

Because this scarf is knit with my own handspun, and I didn't have the exact yardage figured, I did end up having to cut out a repeat near the end so that I could finish the scarf. I literally had less than a yard left.

Next, I did some contract knitting last week. A lovely person from my town hired me to knit two baby scarves. These were knit with *cashmere*. All I can say is lucky baby.

I really enjoyed this pattern. It was super fast and adorable. For the scarves themselves, I pinned out the pink one while blocking, while I laid the white one flat to dry. You can see the difference in the sizes. Just goes to show you what a difference blocking makes.

I've also finished Terra's baby blankie, but I'm not going to post the completed pictures until it's in her hands. I love surprises!

Weigh In Friday

2010-09-19T23:44:00.003-06:00

I got weighed in on Friday. I lost another 2.75 pounds, which is awesome! It was also the second day of my cycle, so I was pretty bloated. I'm down to 169 pounds and now have a BMI of 27.2. YAY ME!

My goal is to lose 2.5 pounds each week until Christmas. That'll be a weight loss of 55 pounds in six months. Not sure if I can do it, but it'll be awesome if I can!

Awesome.

2010-09-15T15:34:00.002-06:00

So this is the BEST blog I've read in a long time.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

It's a comic/humor blog, and seriously, it's unique and funny and well written. If you have a chance, check it out.

A Woman of my Word

2010-09-10T15:35:00.004-06:00

I promised you pictures, and pictures you shall have.

I currently have four projects on the go, three you can see and one secret one. I'm working on a goal-weight cardigan.

This little curly-Q is going to be a cardigan. I'm going to steek (AH), and it'll have raglan decreases for the arms. Here's a picture of my stranded pattern (I'm designing this).

I'm knitting it to fit me minus 30 pounds (my goal weight). So about a size six or eight.

Next on the docket is a baby blankie that I'm finishing up for my friend Terra. See, Terra is expecting a little munchkin in March, and wants to knit only wee baby things. I can't say I blame her, so she bribed me (with lace) to finish this blanket. It's Hemlock Ring, also known as the Swamp Thing pre-blocking.

I'm just really excited to be casting off. Really excited.

The cast off for Hemlock Ring takes FOREVER because it's essentially like knitting three rows while casting off a blocked edge, and in between every four stitches, you increase five to make the hole. It's a nightmare, but worth the result.

And finally, I'm going to be teaching a beginner's lace class at The Knitting Room in October. So I'm designing a little sampler scarf for the students.

It consists of four blocks--

Joined Rectangles

Spiders

Arrowhead

Wandering Ivy

And then one more block that the students will design together as a class to really understand how to chart lace.

I think the overall effect is quite pretty and delicate looking, but they're not particularly complicated patterns. Contact Annie at the store if you'd like to join.

The pattern will be available for purchase on Ravelry once the class is over. :)

Oh, and the other thing I promised. As of today, I have lost 20 pounds. In three months. As my great-grandmother would have said, Hokey Ned.

Stay Tuned

2010-09-09T19:49:00.002-06:00

I know I haven't been posting much lately. Tomorrow, however, I will be posting my weigh-in update and pictures of a blanket I'm finishing for a friend and a new cardigan I'm designing for myself. Check in...

YAY

Resolve.

2010-08-31T12:32:00.004-06:00

It's over. I'm home. Surgery went...well, as good as can be expected, I suppose. Once my doctor got in there, he discovered that he could do just laprascopic surgery, so there was no additional slicing, dicing or hospital stay. Just three punctures, one in my bell button (the most painful), one underneath my belly button on the bikini line and one above my right ovary. They removed one 11cm cyst, one 3cm cyst and took a good look at the lady bits.

Here's the news. My right ovary and fallopian tube are 50% damaged from what he thinks might be endometriosis. The left ovary is 5% damaged, and the left tube is undamaged. However, there was no current evidence of endometriosis seen in the cavity, and my edometrial biopsy looked good. There was no cancer, no lumps, no things that shouldn't have been there (save for the cysts), and so he says that I have a very good chance of conceiving, perhaps using Clomid or something like that to stimulate that lefty.

As for the surgery, I remember crying because I was afraid and regretting not bringing my daughter's teddy bear in the operating room with me (it was in my bag). They told me to take some deep breaths with the oxygen mask, so I did. Then they said, we're turning on the medication. So I took another deep breath. They said, take one more. I took one more and then the next thing I remember, I was being wheeled into recovery. I had a dream while out, but I don't remember what it was about.

In recovery, I cried more (apparently the drugs can make people really emotional), and tried to keep my eyes open. My throat hurt from the breathing tube, and my voice was scratchy, but after coughing a bit, that went away. They monitored me for about half an hour, and then I was sent back into day surgery. I fell asleep pretty much instantly for an hour and a half.

When I woke up from that nap, I had to pee, so I stood up and waddled to the bathroom (with some help from a nurse). While in the bathroom, I totally blanched, and nearly barfed. I just had this horrific wave of nausea wash over me (a few times). Apparently I opened the door as white as a sheet, and I was broken out in a cold sweat. They put me back in bed and tossed a bag of Gravol onto my IV. I slept more.

Elodie and Robbie apparently were ducking in and out throughout this time. Finally, at 6:00, I felt well enough to sit up again, and get dressed. Robbie wheeled me down to the car, and then drove me home. I went to bed. I slept. There may have been some macaroons eaten. Robbie cooked me tomato soup for dinner. It was the best tomato soup ever (especially considering I hadn't eaten since 10:00 p.m. the night before).

Today, I'm sore. I mean, I'm as sore as yesterday, but in a different way. The bellybutton incision is hurting the most at this point, and I'm bloated and tired. There was quite a bit of pain from the gas that was used to inflate my tum, and it was radiating into my shoulder. But I can't complain really. My cyst is gone. My body is going to recover quickly. I am healthy. I'm sad about my ovarian damage, but I think with eating the right way, eating well, it's okay. I will be fine. It will handle the damage.

So. ONWARD! 2011 will be my year for a baby!!!

Weigh-in Friday

2010-08-27T14:49:00.001-06:00

I'm down three and a half pounds this week. Not bad.

So Long...

2010-08-26T21:28:00.004-06:00

My great-uncle and godfather, Danny, passed away today. He was not yet 60.

I hadn't seen him in the last decade, but my memories of him stand out. He had a strong jaw, sparkly eyes and a wry grin. He was quick to tease. He cracked jokes almost constantly. He bought me screwdrivers at my great-aunt's wedding (more orange juice than vodka, now that I remember it), and he showed me how to find the North Star one night at a family reunion by following the two stars of the Big Dipper. I still look for it whenever I spot the dipper.

Part of me is screaming, GO TO THE FUNERAL! Although I am no longer religious, he was my godfather, and that counts as something to me still. He was my favourite great-uncle, and by far one of the funniest. In a family like mine, it's hard to stand out with so many people. I have 18 first cousins, and my mom has well over 50 firsts on just one side. But stand out Danny did.

If anything good can be said of this, he was taken while still young, before being sapped of strength and wit and humour. He was taken after he'd raised his children, and when he'd seen his grandkids, and when they have formed lasting memories of him.

I just feel so awful for my aunt, and so sad that I cannot go to say goodbye due to my surgery. For one long moment, I considered cancelling it, but I can't. I just can't keep waiting for it, and goodness knows how long it would take for me to get an appointment. Probably three months. So I will think of Danny, and send positive thoughts to my aunt. I will look for the North Star every time I see the Big Dipper, and I will remember him.

Nervously Awake

2010-08-26T00:11:00.002-06:00

The time is 12:11. I cannot sleep. The reason, I believe, is two-fold. One, it is fricking hot in my house. The dogs both pant like mad under the bed, and unless I'm exhausted, it's just an exercise in annoyance. Two, and perhaps the more truthful reason I've laid in bed for the last hour, stared at the ceiling, tossed and turned, counted sheep (what else?) and let rather loud, long sighs escape from my mouth is that I'm nervous. You see, Monday, I go into surgery.

Now, I'm a very healthy person. I mean, I haven't always eaten healthy, and I don't always exercise the way I'm supposed to, but I'm rarely ill. I only get one or two bad colds a year, which is pretty darn good, considering my child comes home from day care every day covered in goodness knows what kind of germs, and my husband seems to be a walking case of tonsillitis. I have never broken a bone. I've never had to stay overnight in a hospital for a reason other than having completed the cycle of growing a small, screaming human and pushing said screaming human out of somewhere the sun don't shine. Hell, I haven't even had stitches since I was two and fell off a table. But in four days, I will be willingly going into a hospital, going under general anesthetic, getting an IV (!!!), getting cut open, and having a piece of ME removed. True, it's not a good piece. It's a really crappy piece, a hanger-on, something that MUST go, but it's still a piece of ME.

And here's the other kicker. I won't know exactly what kind of surgery I'm getting until I wake up from it. See, in case I haven't mentioned, my cyst is a whopping ten centimetres in diametre. Or it was at its largest. It's since shrunk by about a centimetre and is 9.1 in diametre now, but come on! That's a SWATCH!!! Only it's a 3-D swatch, so it's like a 10-cm diametre swatch knitted in the round! And they don't know exactly what it is. We know almost definitively that it is not a tumor. Tumors don't shrink, for one thing, and they're usually not filled with fluid, for another. But they still may need to take the thing whole, and when they get in there with a laproscopy (medical talk for a periscope-esque tube that is inserted into the affected area through which non-invasive surgery can be done), if the cyst does need to come out whole, they'll cut me open, remove said cyst, and then staple and stitch me up.

I'm a planner, and this idea that I won't find out if it's a day surgery versus a three-night stay surgery is rather...terrifying. And generally speaking, I'm a little bossy, and not having control of what's going to happen is also terrifying. So I'm awake, consoling myself with some cherries, debating putting a movie on and knitting, and generally not happy.

I just have to keep reminding myself, this is for our family's future. This is so we can have another baby. This is to achieve that goal. A quick surgery is surely better than another two years of trying, right? RIGHT?! Beuler?

Weigh-In Friday (Monday) and Update...

2010-08-23T02:41:00.004-06:00

I went to my weigh-in on Friday, and I was pleased to find I hadn't gained anything while on vacation. Considering all the eating I did (and not mentioning the drinking...), that makes me very happy. I had an ultrasound last week, and I'm pleased to announce that my diet change is working. Not only have I shed some major pounds and dropped at least one dress size in just under three months, but I've also started healing.

My endometrial lining, which was excessively thickened just three months ago, is now normal. My cysts are smaller. Not significantly so, but one centimetre on each of them. I'm still going in for surgery next week, but I'm going in much less terrified. Tumors don't shrink, you see.

So overall, I'm feeling great, looking good, and you know, when we start trying again, we might stand a fighting chance.

ONWARD!

Revelstoke Socks

2010-08-19T15:13:00.003-06:00

I just released my third pattern! YAY! I'm well on track for meeting my design goal this year of five.

Allow me to introduce Revelstoke Socks.

I am so, SO happy with how they turned out. Do check out the Rav page.

This pattern is available for purchase for $3.00 CDN.

Home Sweet Home

2010-08-18T15:37:00.007-06:00

Our vacation ended on Saturday, which was sad, but okay. We did the whole drive from Vancouver to Calgary in one day, which is crazy - especially when your husband is POSITIVE that the Coquihalla Highway is NOT the fastest or even correct route to Calgary, despite both his wife AND the GPS telling him it is, and therefore lengthens the trip from twelve hours to fourteen by taking the Trans Canada. This was only slightly improved by my ability to spout snarky one-liners the entire way home. "Good thing I bought two pounds of cherries or we surely would have starved." "Good thing I brought an extra ball of yarn." And my personal favorite, "Hey, look! Jackass Mountain!"

Anyway, we trucked in at 11:00 at night and all fell into bed. And can I just say, to those makers of in-car DVD players, may the yarn gods swathe you in fluffy goodness for the rest of your days. I feel like they should be on those Visa commercials. You know, carrot sticks, $1, Dora the Explorer water bottle, $5, in-car DVD player, $100. Sanity? Effing priceless, my friends.

Now then, a brief photo montage of our trip. :)

Hitting the road

Pit stop one

Tea in the Enchanted Forest!!!

Playing in the lake near Revelstoke

Our accommodations for the night (which rocked).

Day two of travel - thank you, video gods!

Jellies in the Vancouver Aquarium.

Watching the dolphins

Big tree in Lynn Canyon

Ate gelatto on Granville Island

Played in Deep Cove (home of my awesome aunt and uncle and their family, who were nice enough to host us for a week)

Knit while waiting for the ferry to go to Vancouver Island

Entertained the guy behind me (he thought I was nuts, I'm sure)

Visited friends and their cute arse children

Saw sheep! Who have LONG tails.

Got a family picture to treasure

Saw lots of slugs

Ate the best sushi ever in Tofino

Caught crabs (the good kind)

Rinsed a very nekkid, very sandy little girl off in a very cold ocean. Not pleasant, but cute.

Hunted for seashells on Long Beach near Tofino (it's as cold as it looks).

Watched Elodie discover the joy of the side ponytail

Checked out Cathedral Grove and the 800 year old tree

Figured out the shawls are also good for cooling off statues so little bums can sit on them

Poked some (already dead) jelly fish with sticks

Saw the HUGEST spider I've ever seen in Canada.

Played on the Spanish Banks

So there you have it! Our travels. It was terrific, and we really enjoyed it. The weather was spectacular, with only one day of rain the whole time.

Oh, and those socks up there? Revelstoke socks. Pattern coming soon!

Weigh-In Friday

2010-07-30T15:11:00.001-06:00

I lost two pounds this week, bringing me up to a total of 13 pounds in seven weeks. I'm super happy with myself, and feeling so good! It's like I've lost a sack of flour, and lugging a sack of flour around all day would SUCK.

We're off on vacation starting tomorrow morning, and I won't be back for two weeks. I'm not worried because we're staying with friends who are super healthy, and I know how to make good choices. We'll also be hiking and walking a lot, so I think the next two weeks will be excellent.

Until I come back, have a wonderful two weeks, and be safe this long weekend!

New Pattern: Eight

2010-07-30T09:07:00.003-06:00

The pattern is written. It took me *forever*.

You can buy it here on Ravelry or click the buy now button for your own copy.

Enjoy and happy knitting!

Tests Done!

2010-07-27T14:41:00.002-06:00

The test knitters both finished their Eight socks yesterday. They are some speedy McGees, I tell you! Three days, people. Three days.

Once again, I was astounded by the goodness of people on Ravelry. Both of them test knit the pattern and gave excellent advice. And when you're new to this whole designing thing, advice from the mouths of knitters is a terrific thing.

Considering the rather large amount of mistakes I made in the pattern, I think they did very, very well. And it'll allow me to wrap up everything neatly for release on Thursday.

Go check out their profiles here and here (both Ravelry links). Both have some serious talent. :)

Skinnier Me, and Weigh-In Friday

2010-07-24T12:17:00.002-06:00

So I got weighed in yesterday. It was only half a pound (my fault, totally my fault). But we've hit six weeks on the diet yesterday, so I thought I'd show you three pictures of me. The first was taken the day I started (I had to take it myself, so it sucks). The second was about two weeks later, halfway through the pounds I've lost so far, and the final one was taken yesterday, 11 pounds weight loss.

June 10, 2010

June 26, 2010 (I now wear the same clothes for all my weekly pictures)

Yesterday, July 22, 2010

So I can see the weight loss for sure. I've gone from the fifth hole in on my belt to the ninth. I feel far better. This week, I'm handing my food diary over to my husband to keep track of what I eat (because I know he won't fudge the numbers).

ONWARD!

Eight

2010-07-22T14:29:00.003-06:00

Okay. The Infinite Socks have been renamed as Eight because of a neat little eight that develops on the back of the sock as you knit. The prototype is finished and the pattern is being test knit as we speak. Here, however, are a few sneaky peek shots for you all!

I really like the heel. And the gusset.

They're being test knit semi-solid yellow, so it should show the cables really well. This was a bit too busy, I think, and unless I'm taking a picture outside, the cables just melt into the sock in the picture. On the feet, however, the cables stand right out and look terrific (if I do say so myself).

Also, it's great that they're not bunchy. I despise bunchy cabled socks. So YAY! The test sock should be knit by Monday (that's the deadline, anyway), and then I'll make the pattern pretty and publish on Rav. Hooray, hooray!

Tink, Tink, Tink

2010-07-18T23:02:00.004-06:00

I've been plugging away at the Infinite Socks. They're looking really pretty. I had actually turned the heel on them when I decided that the pattern just didn't look just right, so I ripped it all back to the beginning, tweaked the ribbing, tweaked the pattern and cast on again. I'm two pattern repeats in, so I think two more before I'll turn the heel.

Pictures tomorrow. I went to get some today, when I realized that my darn camera was out of batteries. Depending on my workload this week, I may have the pattern finished and ready for purchase before I leave for my holidays on the 31st.

As for everything else, I haven't been good this weekend. Our fridge died on Thursday. The compressor went, which SUCKS, so we've been keeping an eye on Kijiji for a new one. For now, however, and until we come back from holiday, we'll be living out of a cooler and our chest freezer in the basement. So far, it's not too bad, although I find I keep opening the fridge to grab something (or just to look out of habit), and of course there's just warm air blowing out. We're debating getting just an apartment sized fridge because there's a lot in a fridge that it turns out doesn't really need to be refrigerated. Like eggs, for example, and onions and apples and oranges and most condiments. We do need to keep our dairy products chilled, though, and I think I'd go nuts if we had to live out of cooler.

Anyway, so here's how I've not been good. When the fridge died, I had a major meltdown because it was only adding stress to my already PMSy day, and I caved. Robbie and I were both in terrible moods, so we bought chips, a bottle of wine and rented a movie. We ate all the chips. We drank all the wine.

Friday was okay.

Saturday, I was good until evening. We were at the wading pool all day, which was really fun, but then Saturday night, we went to our friends' house. They just came back from Australia. There was LOTS of alcohol. And hot dogs. And smokies. And chips. I ate two hot dogs, both with white buns, and a few handfuls of chips, and a rice crispie square. And a lot of wine.

This morning I felt really bad. My body was hurting, partly because of the major sunburn I got yesterday (despite having liberally applied sun screen, damn my Scottish heritage!), but I think mostly from the lack of care I gave the food I was eating. I ate so much junk, and I'm not used to it. I was grouchy, hung over, tired, angry, and just generally not feeling very good. I felt...skunky.

So tomorrow, it's back on the wagon. Back to drinking lots of water, back to eating lots of fresh fruit and veggies, back to feeding my body the way it needs to be fed. And I'm thinking I deserve at least two reps of boot camp to work off some of the damage.

In happy news, I get to pick up my shawl from the Stampede on Tuesday! YAY!!

Weigh-in Friday

2010-07-15T13:03:00.002-06:00

I lost...

Two-and-a-half pounds! WOOT! Changes/differences this week include no alcohol, bootcamp three times a week and a lot of water. I've upped my water consumption from 64 oz a day to at least three litres (96 oz). I have found, however, that even after drinking all that water, I'm still thirsty at night and end up drinking MORE water.

So far, I am down at least one dress size, but probably more. I've gone from using the fifth belt hole in to the ninth in. My face has cleared right up, no more spots, my skin feels fantastic, I lack a double chin, and I can *almost* see my collar bones. I feel terrific!

It's hard to believe I've lost a year's worth of weight gain in five weeks, but I have. I HAVE! Ten more pounds until I reach my first goal, 170, the amount I weighed the day I gave birth.

Also, you may have noticed that I've added tags on all the posts. It took a while, and it was nice to go back in time, so to speak, and read my blog. I have grown so much since starting this little project. Anywho, enough with the reminiscing. Check out the tags below to search for posts in the past that might interest you!

CHEERS!

WINNER!

2010-07-13T11:37:00.003-06:00

Robbie and Elodie and I headed down to the Stampede grounds on Sunday to check things out, watch the Bare Naked Ladies (Canadian band, not actual bare naked ladies), and above all else--for me at least--check out the shawl. I was not disappointed.

I won't lie, when I heard that Evenstar shawl to the left was being entered, I nearly gave up hope. Evenstar is a stunning pattern, and I covet it immensely. But enter I did because of two reasons. One, I was very happy with how the shawl turned out. And two, hell, I wanted an effing ribbon.

Winning best in section, though, among all the amazing knitting entrants was really something unexpected. There were so many beautiful entries, such as that Evenstar as well as a really great hat, and I feel completely honoured to have been recognized.

I'm totally going to enter again next year. But what, I wonder. I'm seriously debating a Bohus, even though it's major money. Or maybe a Starmore, even though I hate the boxiness of the patterns. Or perhaps, since it works, I'll knit more lace. Who knows? One thing is for sure, though. I could get used to this winning thing.

Weigh-In Fridays

2010-07-09T13:30:00.003-06:00

This week, I lost *drum roll*

One pound. Blah. It's my own damn fault. After finding out that I have to get this surgery, I may have consumed a fair number of peanut butter M&Ms. And some wine. And a burger. Can we say emotional eater?

Oh, well. I'm down nine pounds, and when I'm naked (not when I weigh in), I see the other side of 170, which is something I haven't seen in a year. So that's something I suppose.

Oh, a certain shawl may have won first place at the Calgary Stampede Western Showcase....

Two Pounds and Surgery.

2010-07-03T00:40:00.003-06:00

I had two appointments today. First:

So I guess that's good. Eight pounds total. :D

On the downside, though, I met with my specialist regarding the cyst. He has booked me in for a laparoscopic-cystectomy-possibly-laparotomic-cystectomy-with-possible-oopherectomy surgery in early September. My cyst is so big, it needs to come out. So if it doesn't get smaller by mid-August, I'm getting cut open.

A laparoscopic surgery is where they insert a camera and a wand thing through two tiny incisions in the abdomen wall and is incredibly non-invasive. However, depending on the type of cyst they find when they do the laparscopic surgery, it might be upgraded to a laparotomy, which is where they make an incision across the abdomen. Depending on what they find on the ovary during *that*, it might mean they remove my right ovary altogether.

When you're trying to have another child, dudes, ovaries are rather essential. So the chance that one might go hang out in a lab somewhere is slightly concerning. But I'm more concerned about a few things. One, at this point, since hormone levels are normal, they don't know what is causing this cyst and what is causing it to grow. Two, I'm experiencing a few additional things, such as a thickened endometrial lining that is seriously fucking up my ability to get pregnant. Three is this BIG BLOODY CYST that's hanging out, won't stop growing and won't bloody well resolve itself.

And while yes, I'm rather attached to my ovaries, and while yes, I'd rather they stick around for the next 50 years or so, my health is absolutely critical. Despite desiring another child, I desire health for my current child moreso, and so they can chop me open and make me better, no matter the possible risks.

But still, when I'm squeamish enough about needles that I refused as a rebellious teenager to get any body parts peirced and never seriously entertained the thought of a tattoo--irregardless of how much it would infuriate my parents--the idea of going under the knife, requiring anywhere between a few days to a week to heal (not to mention several staples and stitches) and losing a rather essential organ is so scary! So hopefully this diet, the lack of refined sugars and so many vegetables will help my body resolve this cyst before my ultrasound in August so that I can have my surgery canceled and continue on my happy little way.

Keep me in your thoughts.

Anniversary

2010-06-30T12:04:00.004-06:00

Today is my 3rd anniversary!

Let me tell you something about my husband. If there is any man on this earth who pulls his weight, it's Robbie. He pulls his weight and a lot of mine, too. He has a full-time job (which he's really good at), is a completely involved and passionate father, cleans, does laundry, does the dishes, and boy, without him, this house would fall apart. I mean, really, fall apart.

On top of that, he's just super thoughtful. He gets cards for special occasions, buys Christmas presents when I forget (it happens a lot), makes sure things are remembered...I don't know what I'd do without him.

I love him to bits, and although I'm not a great wife sometimes (don't I know it), I am so grateful that he's a great husband. The last six years together and the last three years married have been, hands down, the best of my life so far.

I love you, Robbie! Thanks for being just about the best person I know!

I Lost...

2010-06-25T21:33:00.003-06:00

TWO POUNDS!!!

So that's six pounds in two weeks, and I bought new pants today. :D YAY ME! Check in next week. This week is my last on this meal plan, and then we're switching it up. I'm determined to stick to it absolutely this week to see if I can lose another four pounds, which would bring me up to ten.

Anyway, ONWARD!

It's Not PCOS!!!!

2010-06-25T11:06:00.002-06:00

I don't know if I'm relieved or not. My hormone levels all came back absolutely perfect. Well, okay. But then my follow up ultrasound found that my cyst is BIGGER. It's a whopping four inches, 10 cms!!!! HOLY MOLY.

So anyway, just an update. I don't know where we sit right now. I have to go see my OB/GYN on the 2nd, and we'll go from there. Part of me wants to beg him to just take it out, get rid of it, and part of me is like, oh, let it be.

Weigh in today! You'll find out later what it was!!!

Knitting Content

2010-06-23T00:04:00.004-06:00

Finally, right?

No pictures, though, because it's a new design, and you know, I don't want to spoil it. You've seen the mock up:

It's designed, dudes. Now it's just getting test knit by MOI, and then I'll find one other test knitter when I'M done, and then when they've knit it, it'll be available. Oy, long process. Such is life when one works full time and dabbles in this on the side, I suppose.

For the project, I'm using a delicious burnt umber kind of reddish cashmere/merino/silk from Colourmart. I cannot say enough great things about that company. I heart them. I'm also using clear glass sead beads, and boy, are they ever going to make this shawl lovely!

Anyway, just though I'd update you all. I am knitting. I just can't show you yet. :)

On That Road Again...

2010-06-18T15:10:00.003-06:00

I'm losing weight. AGAIN.

But this is NOT just another diet. No, this is going to work. I have a very sneaking suspicion. Why? Because this is a real, grown up diet. Not read a book, now do it. It's called Simply For Life, and each week for six months, I'll meet with my nutritionist (A REAL ONE!!!), who tailors a meal plan to ME and updates it. I just finished my first week on the new plan, and it was EASY. I loved the food. There was almost too much of it, actually.

And guess what, dudes? I lost FOUR POUNDS in a week. IN A WEEK!! My parents have been seeing the same nutritionist since December, and my mom is down 25 pounds, my dad is down 60. So, with a little luck...

Each Friday, weigh-in day, I'll update you on my progress. And each month, I'll post pictures from when I started to the current date. Wish me luck!

Bun in the Oven

2010-06-03T20:07:00.004-06:00

Two of them.

Not babies, but bread. I mean, do you *really* think I'd be enjoying a cold and delicious glass of Pinot Grigio right now if I was knocked up? I think not.

I bake our bread, not buy it. It's really the best thing ever. It costs less than $0.50 a loaf, and it tastes so much better than store bought. Want my recipe?

1/2 cup HOT water from the tap.
1 tsp sugar
Dissolve sugar in water in a small bowl and let it cool slightly until lukewarm to the touch. Add 1 tbsp of active dry yeast (no packets!!). Set aside for ten minutes until proofed.

In another bowl, combine 1c of HOT water, 1/8 c. of honey, 1/8 c. white sugar, 1/4 c. sunflower oil. Stir. Then add 1 c. of all purpose flour. Stir until it's like a batter.

By this point, your yeast should have proofed, so add it to the bowl and stir it in well. Add 2 tsp. salt. Stir well. Add another cup of flour. Stir it in. Add enough flour that it's a very mushy dough.

Turn out onto a well-floured surface and knead that sucker, adding more flour, until it feels like velvet, has an even texture when you cut through it, and it's tacky, but doesn't stick ridiculously to your counter or your hands. Think that blue stuff you put posters up with.

Stick that back in your bowl and apply a wee bit of olive oil on top so that it doesn't dry out. Turn your oven on for about two minutes, then shut it off, and check the temperature inside. If it's pleasantly warm, like a warm bath, stick your bread dough in. If it's too hot, leave the door open to cool it out a bit, then stick your bread in. Leave it for about an hour, until doubled.

Punch down your dough. kneading slightly, and then divide into two greased non-stick pans. Coat tops with olive oil and put it back in your still-warm oven to rise again. At this point, grab a pan of water and put it on your bottom rack. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

When your bread looks like this, about an hour later, it's ready to bake.

Turn your oven to 400 *F, and let it chillax in there for 40 minutes. Then knock it down to 375 *F and bake for another 10. Bread is finished when it sounds hollow if you knock it on the top.

Turn it out, onto its side, on a rack to cool. On its side will stop the bread from sweating in the pan, and stop the tops of the loaves from falling. Brush the tops with butter while they're still warm. Voila, delicious, simple homemade bread.

Midnight Snacks

2010-06-01T00:47:00.003-06:00

Is there anything more divine for a midnight snack than homemade bread with homemade butter and two soft-boiled eggs? I think not.

I procrastinated over the weekend, and here I am, 1:00 a.m., working my tushy off to ensure my work is done in time. Come midnight, I tend to get hungry, and having made bread just today and butter just yesterday (not with a butter churn, but with a food processor. Super easy), I decided to make some eggs to go with it and have a midnight snack.

I even used my grandmother's china for it.

There's something just so sweet about the little yellow yolk in a sea of white.

And the final verdict? Full and happy, ready to continue my work for at least another five hours.

(Pardon the hair. I've been working for 10 hours so far.)

Off Topic, But So Important.

2010-05-24T22:29:00.003-06:00

I'm going to do something I rarely (if ever) do on this blog. I am about to voice a political opinion.

In this day and age, we have so much. Families have a car for every person (or more), big houses, drive long distances to work, all kinds of technology in and around their home, and it's made the Western culture fat, lazy and greedy. People think Robbie and I are crazy for only having one car between the two of us. I always tell people, I work in my basement. Robbie's workplace is a five-minute walk from our front step. We don't need more than one car. Heck, we hardly need one.

And yet, I know families with only one person working outside the home, and one staying home with the kids, but they have two (or three) vehicles. They drive absolutely everywhere. They could easily walk to the supermarket or the park, but they choose to drive. Or they choose to have a gigantic home that's heated warm enough to grow tropical plants. Or they choose to run their dishwashers with five dishes in it. Or they choose to eat out.

It's all choices, and now, the culmination of our choices has led us to this place. A place where "dirty oil" is the ONLY oil, and species are disappearing off this planet faster than you can sing the ABCs, and our children! It's expected that the children being born now will be the first generation since the years of the Black Plague to live shorter lives than their parents. And it's because of our choices that we have no way to stop an oil well that has, for a month, been spewing black sludge into one of the most diverse waterways around North America. Even worse, as BP races to try to fix this catastrophe, to try to stem the tide of oil, which is now settling in the Louisiana wetlands, people are shrugging their shoulders and saying, well, not much we can do about it. We need oil to live. There are religious zealots excited about this disaster because, in their minds, it means that Christ is returning post haste. The sooner we trash the earth, the sooner Judgement Day will arrive. Hallelujah.

But look at it. Look at the carnage. Our earth is dying. We are the ones killing it.

Our life of leisure is not worth this. If the ocean dies, the earth dies. If the air is ruined, the earth dies. If the land is scorched, the earth dies.

People may think that we're all good seeing as we've mapped the human genome and can bend nature to our will, but here's a news flash. If the earth dies, we die with it. All of us. There are no people who can live on this planet without our ocean or our plants or our air. It doesn't matter if you've managed to breed a teacup-sized wolf, cloned a thousand sheep, grown an ear on the back of a mouse or can fly around the world at five times the speed of sound. We cannot survive without the earth.

So come on, people. Do we really need to wait for the governments of the world to tell us to cut back on our driving, think about what we're buying and consuming and to change our damned light bulbs? Half of you don't like your government anyway.

I'm not saying that we should all stop driving, use our houses for firewood and start tanning hides for clothing, but how about we start with recycling, using a compost, walking where we can, turning off lights when we leave a room, growing a vegetable garden, planting a tree, buying used before new, investing our hard-earned cash in companies that are trying to find legitimate energy alternatives, shopping locally, and turning off that TV and computer and cellphone and spending some time with our families once in a while?

We are humans. We were gifted, whether by nature or some deity, with an extremely useful brain. It may sound so cliche, but if we can figure out a way to put a person on the moon, surely, surely we can find a way to alter our own thinking, our own mindset to consider not just the here and now, but also the future, the consequences and what could be.

A Weekend

2010-05-22T15:47:00.004-06:00

This weekend is a long weekend here in Canada. Monday is a day off, which is much appreciated by everyone.

Last summer, our best couple friends moved west, to Vancouver Island. Seeing as it was Robbie's best friend, it's been rather hard on us, and sometimes, it seems like we have no one to do things with. James and Jen were kind of our go-to couple, as their oldest daughter is only a year-and-a-half younger than Elodie. Of course we're lucky enough to be blessed with as many friends as we have fingers and toes, but in this part of the country, a rat race is definitely played, and it's hard to make time for leisure.

So for Christmas this year, Elodie and I gave Robbie a trip to Vancouver Island to hang out with his best buddy and his family. So on Thursday, he flew out, and Elodie and I started our Mommy/Daughter weekend. So far, it's nice. I always love just hanging out with Elodie, just the two of us. Our family has a really good routine, and sometimes it's nice to toss that right out the window. And that routine has been tossed.

I took Friday off work. We picked up my cousin's two-year-old son so he could have some fun time away from his new baby sister (it's been kind of hard on him). He and Elodie had a tonne of fun, racing around the house, destroying Elodie's bedroom, eating the most kid-friendly lunch EVER (goldfish crackers, mac & cheese, cut-up hotdogs, corn on the cob and strawberries), and playing at the park. After dropping him off after a solid four hours of playing, we went to my parents' house to visit my grandparents who had just driven in from Saskatchewan.

Gramma, Elodie and I went and got some things for dinner, and then when Elodie knocked out in the car on the way home, we decided to go for coffee at Tim Horton's. Elodie stayed asleep for most of it, and only awoke at the end to have a doughnut. We had dinner with my grandparents and parents, and then we went home. Elodie fell asleep in record time, and I followed suit.

Last night, at about 3:00 a.m., I woke up to find a little clammy-footed, snoring kid, two dogs and a cat in my bed. I kicked one dog off and let the rest stay. In my defence, the dog I kicked off is 125 pounds of drool and hair.

In all, this weekend has been one of lazing about, doing what we feel like when we feel like it, heading for impromptu trips to the park, not cleaning up after ourselves (much. I have run the dishwasher once and wiped down the stove and counters), not worrying about getting out of our jammies first thing in the morning, and generally enjoying ourselves.

Today, we have dinner with my whole family (parents, grandparents, brother, cousin and his family). Tomorrow, we're going up to Sundre to see Robbie's step-dad and his family. One brother, two sisters, their families, and then four step-step sisters and their kids (Robbie's step dad remarried after Robbie's mom died to a woman with four girls. What does that make them to Robbie? We figure step-step sisters). It's going to be *crazy* busy, but I always enjoy hanging out with them. Then tomorrow night, I'll drop Elodie into the safe care of Robbie's dad, and I get Sunday night and most of Monday to myself while Elodie goes to the High River Parade.

Robbie comes home on Tuesday. By then, my house will be a mess, my clothing piled up to the ceiling, work screaming my name, but you know what? There's next weekend. Long weekends are for relaxing with your family, and that's just what I intend to do.

Have a wonderful, safe weekend, everybody!! Don't drink and drive!

Anger....Rising

2010-05-19T21:35:00.003-06:00

Just going to put this out there. When adults spread lies and rumors about children, it's pathetic. It's mean. It's underhanded. It makes them look like giant D-bags.

Telling lies about a little girl because you don't like her mother is so immature, I'm surprised that a certain *someone* isn't still in high school. But no, she's almost 30.

Putting this out there, Ms. H, grow the hell up.

ps. I'm still checking that site for reasons just like this.

Diagnosed

2010-05-14T23:17:00.003-06:00

I'm not sure if you all remember, but a while back, I posted about two large cysts found on my right ovary. As we had been trying to have a baby for a long time, this was a surprise but not a surprise. I knew something had to be up.

Well, I saw the specialist this past week, and I have a diagnosis! PCOS, or Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome is a disorder that affects between 5 and 10% of women of childbearing age. It can present in girls as young as 11 and women as old as 65. What is it, exactly? Well, it's a disorder that really is unknown as to cause, but the main culprit is believed to be a combination of insulin resistance and genetics.

I don't have some of the tell-tale symptoms, but I do have others. For example, while I am spotty, have difficulty losing weight and have rather long cycles (ranging between 35 and 42 days), I don't have excessive body hair (thank goodness) or male pattern baldness or dark patches on my skin.

I am, quite honestly, relieved with the diagnosis of PCOS. It is highly treatable, and once the hormonal imbalance is fixed with a combination of Metformin and diet and exercise (which will result in weight loss), symptoms should disappear. At least it's not something like endometriosis, which runs in my family and resulted in hysterectomies in my aunt and mother, and it's not ovarian cancer, thank goodness.

So on June 4th, I'll return to my doctor, review the results of the blood tests that were drawn last week and be prescribed Metformin and put on a diet plan. I generally eat pretty healthy, but I still have quite a bit of excess weight hanging around that just won't. Go. Away. I'm looking forward to the Metformin giving me a boost in that direction, maybe having some clear skin and most importantly, getting this thing under control as soon as possible.

In other news, my husband and I have both decided it's time to lead healthier lives. We have both given up all alcohol and started to eat even better than we were (no more eating out at fast food joints), and he is in the process of kicking his pot-a-day coffee habit and cutting out all other caffeine. He's been in a terrible mood for the last week or so, but I'm so proud of him for taking this step. I've already noticed that his mood is more even, that his breath smells considerably better, and he's not as gassy as he used to be. Having cut out caffeine over five years ago, I fully appreciate the difficulty of what he is doing.

Also in the healthier lifestyle choices, I have stopped staying up until 2:00 a.m. every night. I generally am asleep by 10:00 (although not tonight due to preparing caramel apples for a friend's birthday party tomorrow), awake by 7:30 and working until about 2:00. I've managed to nearly double my production in the last few weeks, and am bringing in double the income, therefore. I'm very proud of myself and feel like *such* an adult.

So overall, things here in Chez Plied are good. Things are looking hopeful. I shall keep you all updated on my progress. ONWARD!!

The Right Direction

2010-04-30T13:24:00.003-06:00

Before I became a mother, I was kind of like a bit of dandelion fluff, going wherever my life would take me (how's that for cliche?). I didn't really care what I was doing, and I certainly didn't have a purpose for my life. I just cared about the now, not the future. I was in every sense an irresponsible, selfish brat. Now I'm just a brat.

When Robbie and I found out we were expecting (rather unexpectedly, I might add), there were many thoughts that ran through my mind. From absolute fear to then excitement to extreme love, my emotions ran the gamut. I loved every wiggle and kick and stretch and hiccough that the baby made, and we anxiously anticipated the birth of our new family member. We hit the jackpot, I must say.

At this time, four years ago, I was pacing up and down the hallways of the delivery ward, nervous as all get out, and so ready to DO THIS. Roughly nine hours later, a squirmy, screaming, human freaking being came out of ME and was very much here and real. It was amazing!

We watched her grow over the four years into what she is now, a really, really awesome little person who cares very much for others and demands kisses and hugs and snuggles up when we're watching TV and makes jokes that we don't get, but are hilarious nonetheless. This past year, she's done everything from chopped off all her hair:

to gone to Disneyland:

to splashed in the Atlantic:

to learning to tie her shoes and spell her name! While the physical differences are not great, she sure has grown up.

And I've been growing right alongside her. I am far more confident in my ability to raise a good person. I am so sure that empowerment is the answer to success, and unconditional love is the key to happiness. I have a direction now, and it's a good one.

Just as I can compare Elodie today to Elodie four years ago, I can compare me today to me before Elodie and realize that I am a far better person, not because I'm older, but because Elodie is.

Many, many, many happy returns to the person who changed my whole life and steered me in the right direction.

Renovation Update

2010-04-28T07:40:00.001-06:00

Rip out carpets in the livingroom and hallway - DONE
Rip off and dispose of all mouldings - DONE
Wash walls - *almost* DONE
Tape and prime walls - DONE
Paint walls - DONE
Empty spare room and rip out carpet - DONE
Lay subfloor in livingroom, hallway and spare DONE
Lay fancy-pants new laminate floor - DONE
Empty and rip out carpets in Elodie's room and master bedroom
Lay subfloor in E's room and Master
Lay laminate in E's room and Master
Put on new crown mouldings.

That's right, folks. FOUR STEPS LEFT!!! Then I get to renovate the bathrooms. Oh hell.

I've cast on for Vera. Right now, I'm just getting the pattern started, and have one quarter of the shawl on the needles (in a scrap yarn) to do that while I wait for the actual yarn from Colourmart to get here. I'm so freaking excited to get things going!

Action Shots

2010-04-27T12:18:00.003-06:00

My dear hubster took pictures of me with the shawl to give an example of how big it is. Here it is in a three-quarter fold:

And my favorite way to wear square shawl, folded in half with the top half rolled around the neck to keep my neck warm from the chilly spring wind.

Done and Done

2010-04-26T16:37:00.003-06:00

The cupcakes were finished on time, as was the floor and the painting and the cleaning. Our little princess had a great time playing with her friends, and we had a good time hanging with the parents.

She got more Barbies than I think I owned as a child, and she also got a really thoughtful gift from my parents (a oil painting of Elodie done by a friend) and a bike from Robbie's dad, a book from Robbie's dad's girlfriend, and an umbrella with matching rain jacket from Robbie's step-dad and his wife.

Also in the news, my cousin's wife had a baby on Friday. Cohen Anne is a sweet little girl, and we're so happy for Tanner, Kyla and big brother Caysen!

Finally, a knitting project is done. It's the biggest project I've EVER knit with by far the most stitches. I love it.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I ran out of yarn halfway through the fifth chart and was forced to cast off early. Considering how huge it is, though, not knitting the last chart and a half was probably a good thing. For scale, i inserted a cool beverage in this photo...

Said beverage is currently being consumed. ;)

Cupcake Queen

2010-04-24T00:02:00.004-06:00

You may be reading this post, looking at the time stamp, and wondering to yourself, What is Kayla doing up at this time of night. The honest answer? Freaking the frack out.

It is 12:03 a.m. It is Elodie's birthday party tomorrow, and tomorrow we are expecting no less than 30 people to descend on our house around 2:00. That's less than 14 hours away, for those of you who are doing the math. Today, I had to repaint my house. I am WAY behind on laying the kitchen floor, which I was going to be using today to do until I had a little accident (or rather the paint store had a little accident) and tinted my bucket of touch-up paint a darker grey than the colour I had painted the walls with. Suddenly, I had HUGE dark patches on my lovely walls, where I was just supposed to be touching up. So then I had to repaint THE WHOLE HOUSE. By whole house, I don't mean, oh, I touched up a room. Nope. Kitchen, livingroom, hallway. Did I mention we have vaulted ceilings? FUN TIMES.

And I was supposed to be completing the laminate floor in the kitchen today, but instead, was painting the whole house, so I started laying the floor at 9:00 p.m. Three hours ago. I have three feet done. OMG.

Did I mention there's a birthday party tomorrow? In my house. HERE. So I am awake, despite being exhausted, despite my bed calling to me...I can hear it now. I haven't knit anything in a week, so my stress level is nearly through the roof, and now...I'm baking cupcakes.

Elodie requested ladybugs. I was originally going to make wee fondant ladybugs sitting amid a cupcake of grass with wee flowers. Well, that got fracking tossed. Now I'm doing lady bugs, the easy, cheap, fast way.

It's a good thing her Mommy is creative.

I'm Grateful...

2010-04-09T14:31:00.004-06:00

This morning, when I was having a shower and getting ready, I started thinking along the path I always think when I have to look at myself naked in front of a mirror. UGH. I mean, I think, ugh, I miss the way I *used* to look, ugh, why are they so low, ugh, why can't my hair just lay straight, ugh, I have cellulite, ugh, look at that zit...and on and on and on. How negative of me.

So today, I started to list things I'm happy with on my body.

- I have thick hair.
- I have green eyes.
- I have a wee rib cage.
- I have an hourglass figure.
- I have cute feet.
- I have long eye lashes.
- I have a pouty mouth.
- I have a nice smile.
- I'm getting laugh lines (better than frown lines!!!).

That, of course, led me to start thinking of all the things I'm grateful for in my life.

- I have a smart, sassy, polite, beautiful daughter who makes me laugh every single day, without fail, and keeps me on my toes.
- I have a smart, handsome husband who is always kind and considerate and was even willing to run out into a blizzard yesterday to pick up a bottle of wine for us to enjoy the power outage with.
- I have as many friends as I have fingers and toes, and they're all people I'm proud to surround myself with.
- I am able to afford a nice house in a great neighbourhood, and it's got a big backyard and a big tree out front, and it's close to schools and close to Robbie's work, and the neighbours are great.
- I was lucky enough to be born to parents who love each other far more than I think they realize. They came from nothing, they worked their butts off, and they have been very successful in life. They were able to provide an excellent starting block for my brother and I.
- Speaking of brothers, I'm grateful for mine, and that we have finally made it to a place where we are friends. He knows me better than most everyone on this earth.
- I am lucky to have three grandparents alive and in good health (one of whom is turning 90 in December!).
- I am grateful to be a child of two countries, having an immigrant father and a umpteenth generation Canadian mother.
- I am grateful to be able to work from home.
- I am extremely grateful to be able to knit because it's the place I find solace.

My gratefuls far outweigh my negatives.

Almost...There....

2010-04-06T12:35:00.003-06:00

78 rows left on my Oriental Impressions Shawl. That's 100,000 stitches.

I'm almost done. YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Vera's Shawl

2010-03-28T17:05:00.004-06:00

On May 5th, 2005, my husband's mom, Vera, was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. Just two months and one day later, on July 6th, she died.

This year, to celebrate her life and mourn the fifth year anniversary of her passing, I will be designing a shawl and releasing the pattern for sale on Ravelry. 50% of the proceeds will go directly to the Alberta Cancer Foundation.

The mock up is finished, and as soon as the shawl I'm working on is complete, I'll cast on for Vera's Shawl.

Provided everything works out according to plan, the shawl will be up for sale on June 6th, 2010 at 7:16 a.m., exactly five years to the minute after we lost one of the brightest, most loving people I have ever met.

Come on Spring!

2010-03-24T18:18:00.003-06:00

Elodie and Mommy want to get outside and play!!!

We've been stuck in the house for nearly six months now, and this tease of warmer weather is making us itchy! We did manage to rake the yard over the weekend (meaning I raked and Elodie jumped in the grass and caught ladybirds), and we've been going for walks whenever we can, but SRSLY, enough snow already!!

In knitting news, to combat the stir-crazy blues, I've been knitting avidly on my Oriental Impressions Square (rav link), and I picked up some hand-painted merino/seacell blend that I've been (slowly) spinning. It's lovely and soft, and I'm thinking I'll weave a scarf out of it.

So now...we wait for spring, by which time I intend to be finished my shawl and wearing it. Maybe that's it!! Maybe spring won't get here until I finish my shawl! Well....crap. Suffice it to say that the square thing, while great that I don't have to purl at all, is maybe not the best idea I've ever had. This shawl is going to be massive, already kicking around 900 stitches on the needles with two-and-a-half sections (at least 150 rounds) left to go. I'm considering wimping out and doing the shorter version of the shawl, though I purchsed enough cashmere/silk/merino for the full version.

I hope spring has sprung for the rest of you. If Mother Nature is waiting on me to start the season, it's going to be a while...

Book Review: Book of Negroes

2010-03-20T21:14:00.003-06:00

So I finished this book, which had been recommended to me by my mother and several friends, the Book of Negroes. While I enjoyed the idea of the book, the book itself disappointed me. I found the plot to be highly unlikely, and the book to be kind of poorly written. I felt like the author's pacing was off, and that he used big words and horrific events to cover it up.

I read the book over the course of about five days, and overall, I found it to be an easy read. As I stated before, the main character's line in the story is highly implausible, an African-born woman who is stolen from her country at the age of 11, sold into slavery, and whose life follows a series of unfortunate and fortunate events. While it's not my opinion that having implausible or unlikely events in a book is erroneous, I do believe the book would have fared better and seemed more believable in the hands of a more capable writer.

The Book of Negroes did, however, interest me in the Canadian "free" colony in Nova Scotia (although I wish the author had spent more time discussing it), and in Canada's (Britain's) role in ending the thievery of native Africans and their subsequent sales into slavery in North America and Western Europe. I intend to visit my library and read some non-fiction works regarding this subject thanks to this book.

Final Star Rating: 3 out of 5 stars. Roots, this is not, but a decent book on an interesting part of the world's history.

Into the Light

2010-03-07T14:17:00.004-07:00

I've always found blogging rather cathartic, and so today I'm turning back to this medium to cleanse some heavy issues off my shoulders.

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 16 months now. Back in December, I got a positive pregnancy test, but two days later, the test was negative, and I started bleeding. So an early miscarraige.

I went into the doctor and he sent me for an ultrasound, just to be sure that everything was cleared out of there. Everything was fine in that department, but they found two 2cm cysts on my right ovary. We waited a month, and then I went back on Wednesday for another ultrasound to see if the cysts were going away or getting bigger or if there was anything new. Unfortunately, there was something new in the picture. The cysts had grown, and there was stuff in them; something more than fluid.

So now I'm off to see a specialist, probably in the next month. This could be anything from nothing at all to endometriosis, which runs in my family, to ovarian cancer. Turns out that my difficulty getting pregnant could be much more than just not getting pregnant. It could be something is wrong. With me. With my body.

I am completely, totally, seriously afraid. The doctor has put me on a do-not-make-a-baby order until we know what's going on, and I'm sad. I'm worried that it could be cancer, and that's a scary thought.

So. Now you know what's going on. I don't have to go through this alone, thankfully, and I have the full support and backing of my family. But if I'm not around, it's not just the rennovations (the floor is looking really nice). Keep me in your thoughts, my friends.

Offline

2010-02-27T22:55:00.003-07:00

Thank you for checking on Plied. She is currently covered head to toe in paint, dealing with a severe case of sawdust all over the back deck and in the house, riddled with sore muscles and desperately in need of a beer.

Knitting has entirely stopped.

Sanity is questionable.

Please check back soon to make sure she's alive. She'll probably show you pictures of a really pretty house. Rest assured, it's hers.

Step One - Complete

2010-02-23T22:27:00.003-07:00

Rennovations have begun. Carpet is out. Walls are in the process of being washed.
Pictures to follow soon, once the craziness settles down.

RENNOVATION CHECKLIST

Rip out carpets in the livingroom and hallway - DONE
Rip off and dispose of all mouldings - DONE
Wash walls - *almost* DONE
Tape and prime walls
Paint walls
Empty spare room and rip out carpet
Lay subfloor in livingroom, hallway and spare
Lay fancy-pants new laminate floor
Empty and rip out carpets in Elodie's room and master bedroom
Lay subfloor in E's room and Master
Lay laminate in E's room and Master
Put on new crown mouldings.

Breathe
Drink (a lot)
Sleep for a month

Pastry, You Say?

2010-02-16T04:19:00.006-07:00

New favourite blog.

Confections of a (Closet) Master Baker

The pictures alone are worth it, but the wit and humour in the posts make me come back for more. Even cooler, she's Sandra Bullock's younger sister, and Sandra Bullock is one of my all-time favourite actors. Damn, this is one talented family. Definitely picking up her book!

MOAR PASTRIES!!!!

On Straight Lines

2010-02-14T11:15:00.005-07:00

So, how many people get totally frustrated from the ssk or the s1, k1, PSSO coming out all crooked when your k2tog lies perfectly flat and beautiful? Me? Me? I get so, SO angry about that.

Well, I figured out a trick to have the exact, same straight line for your left-leaning decreases. I know! (!!!!!)

Here's the trick. On the ssk, instead of slipping both stitches knit-wise, slip the first knit-wise and the second purl-wise. Then knit them together through the back legs. Tada! Your left-leaning decreases will sit perfectly straight, no more jogging, no more crookedness.

Check it out in this close-up.

Yeah, those lines are S(kw)S(pw)K(tbl)!

:)

Fa(ntastic Fa)il

2010-02-14T10:52:00.006-07:00

So. I'm not doing the Knitting Olympics this year. I'm not doing the Ravelympics this year. Why, you ask? Well, I bought the yarn, I have the pattern, but I just couldn't wait. So I cast on a week ago for the Oriental Impressions Triangle (rav link). I'm not knitting it as a triangle, though. I'm knitting it square. Holy crap. That'll be about 2400 yards of laceweight (I have ~2,500 in a merino/cash/silk 60-20-20 blend) and a whole lot of work. But boy howdy is it ever pretty.

The yarn is, of course, amazing. Gotta love Colourmart. I got all 2,500 yards for $20 including shipping. Including. Love love love.

Speaking of yarn, Robbie was a great husband and tidied up my mess(es). He put all my yarn and fibre into big Rubbermaid bins and stacked them, one on top of the other. I officially have four full Rubbermaid bins *full*. Um. Oops? But it's just so pretty. Seriously, I don't know whether to giggle insanely or sob or spread it all out and roll in it. Maybe all three. First I'll spread it all out, giggle insanely, roll in it, and then sob as I put it all away.

Right now, however, there's knitting to do, so it will have to wait.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

GO CANADA GO!

2010-02-12T23:11:00.004-07:00

This is a simple post to honour the life of Olympian Nodar Kumaritashvili who was tragically killed today while doing a practise run on the Olympic luge track in Whistler. My heart goes out to his family, teammates and countrymen. Godspeed.

Atonement

2010-02-08T16:48:00.003-07:00

Has anybody else seen this film? I watched it well over a year ago, and I've been meaning to blog about it, give my thoughts, but to be honest, I was so disturbed by it, it's taken some time to work through how I felt.

First impression - good movie. Great story line. Strong characters. Excellent plot.
Second impression - hard to sleep for about a week afterward.

If you haven't seen it, do look away now. I'm going to post some plot stuff that you may not want to read about.

The story is about a young girl, 11 or 12 maybe, named Briony who tells a lie. The lie snowballs out of her control and a young man is sent to jail, her sister loses her love, and then the young man is shipped off to war. Briony essentially ruins not only her sister's and the young man's life, but also her own because of the guilt that consumes her over however many years she keeps the secret.

I think the hardest part of the whole thing, besides the really harsh, raw edges of the film's story and storytelling is how introspective the film is. Every, single one of us has told a lie or a fib. Maybe not as big of a lie as Briony tells, but a lie nonetheless. It's the whole butterfly causing a tsunami paradigm, and that one cannot possibly predict how a story will affect others.

The whole story is told from the viewpoint of Briony, first as a young girl, then a young woman, and finally an old lady. The depth of the movie comes not from the other characters themselves, because they are really quite static and perfect in a lot of ways, but from the way reality twists and fades into myth in Briony's mind and therefore her story. For example, the male lead, Robbie, played by James McAvoy, is too perfect. He is what Briony has made him in her mind through regret. Despite the ubiquitous and rather shocking use of the C-word (which, if I remember correctly, made me drop a stitch on some rather finicky lace), and a very vigorous trist between him and the female lead, Cecilia, played by Keira Knightley, he does nothing wrong. He is a saint.

(As an aside, when I Googled the correct spelling of Keira Knightley's name, there were some rather disturbing photoshops. Since when does she have boobs?)

Cecilia is less of a saint, but still perfect nonetheless. Stoical and strong, she's portrayed in the film as very little girl would view an older sister, I imagine. I wouldn't know for sure, of course, seeing as I am an older sister to a younger brother.

The movie didn't fall short for me, although I would be hesitant to watch it again, simply for the disturbing factor. The acting was top notch, with the main focal points being young Briony, played by Saoirse Ronan (who was brilliant, by the way), and James McAvoy's character, Robbie. Knightley...I'm not her biggest fan, but she brought a lot to the character.

So, overall, four-and-a-half stars, with half a star docked for disrupting my sleep.

So Bronchitis Stinks...

2010-02-06T19:27:00.003-07:00

At least, that's what it's looking like I have more and more. On Friday morning, I woke up with a sore throat. Not a big deal, right? By 12:00, when I'd finished my work for the day, I needed to lay down. I slept from 12:00 on Friday afternoon until 6:00 p.m. Saturday night. And my chest hurts. Like, really hurts. I'm thinking that can't be good.

Of course I have work this weekend. Of course.

Hurry up and buy my pattern, people, so that I can knit for a living. LOL!

By the way, you will all be happy to know that well over 20 copies of the pattern have been sold, and it has pushed Annie over the top of her fundraising goal for her 2010 Ride to Conquer Cancer! I'm so proud of her, and I can't wait to see what great changes her ride affects. GO ANNIE!!!!

For now, however, I'm going to go run myself the hottest lava bath possible, smother my chest in Vick's Vaporub and try not to hack up an internal organ. My bandmate has been trying to tell me that drinking copius amounts of scotch would help, but somehow I doubt it.

Reading

2010-02-02T03:09:00.003-07:00

I was recently saying to my husband, Robbie, that I should have been a book critic. Reading is my favourite past time (even more than knitting), and I do a lot of it. If I have a lazy Saturday, I can easily finish a book in a day. Over the weekend, I read a novel and a collection of short stories. I've always enjoyed being whisked away into a new world or environment and getting caught up with the stories, the characters and the culture of the book. A great example would be Shogun, which I read several months ago. I absolutely loved how the author brought pre-Western Japan to life. I found the book hard to get into at first, but after they finished boiling people (totally gross), I got it. It clicked. I really enjoyed it and felt like I'd walked away with new information to cram into my head and blurt out at social events.

I tend to rotate my favourite books, all of which are pretty heavy reading and all of which are part of a series, and stick "fluffy" or new books in between them. The faves list is ever-expanding, although rarely do I drop a book off the list. The current list includes:

Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the full series)
Earth Children (Clan of the Cave Bear, Valley of Horses, Mammoth Hunters, Plains of Passage, Shelters of Stone)
His Dark Materials Trilogy (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass)
The Chronicles of Narnia
The Lord of the Rings
and The Harry Potter Series.

Thanks to my dear husband, who is continually buying me books (yay!), I can add another series to that list. Robbie got me The Southern Vampire Mysteries for my birthday. I read seven of them in ten days, and started and finished the eighth on Sunday. They are fluffy. They are funny. There is sex. This is my kind of book.

I much prefer the books to True Blood, which is based on the books. When I say based, I mean loosely based. The first season of True Blood followed the plot of the first book pretty closely, but the second one was *way* not on target. I like that the main character, Sookie Stackhouse, is vain and knows that she's hawt and likes to sunbathe. I like the strange Louisiana colloquialisms that get thrown in (knee-deep in alligators). I LOVE the vampires because, unlike the Twilight series, these are creatures of the night who are blood thirsty, money hungry, love sex, use, abuse, and are generally terrifying. Sookie is a strong female character, unlike Meyer's main character who does nothing but trip over her feet, be depressing and follow her man like a hungry puppy.

Sookie kicks ass and takes names. I like that in my heroines.

So. Check it out, folks. Southern Vampire Mysteries, starting with book one, Dead Until Dark. I'm putting this sucker on my faves list.

Spin Class

2010-01-26T21:38:00.004-07:00

Not the class you probably think of when you hear spin class. No, this was spin class on bikes. Holy Moly.

This is my second week of spin class, and because I didn't feel like throwing up after it this time, I stuck around for a bit and chatted with a few of the people in it. One of them has cancer and wants to do a triathalon. One of them is a mother of two and wants to be fit for her kids. About six of them are all teachers from the same school who want to be a fit staff. Me? Well, I have this really cute pair of size fours in my closet...

I know, I know, it's the most shallow reason of all! But it's my reason! I was so skinny when I was a young adult. I mean, I'm still young, and I'm still an adult, but I guess a younger adult than I am now before I had kids and freedom - I mean, free time. And started eating on a regular basis. And make enough money to go grocery shopping. And quit smoking - thereby not purchasing $11/pack cigarettes every few days. And bought a car.

There's something about not owning a car, not having enough money to choose between your pack-a-day habit and food (you pick the smokes) and walking absolutely everywhere that makes you *really* thin. I mean, really, really thin. The healthy part is questionable.

But now I'm not thin. I'm officially the fattest I've ever, ever been in my entire life. I can't keep going this way! I'm going to breech 200 soon! So two weeks ago, I started spin class. I'm trying to eat healthier and all that great stuff, but let's be honest, it's easy to fall off that wagon. It's so easy to be like, oh, it's just one bag of chips, which leads to, oh, it's just one chocolate bar, one bowl of ice cream, one package of gummies and one extra pant size. The key is really the exercise, I think, which sucks because I really despise exercising.

But alas, those size fours, my reason for working out, are not going to fit around my thigh if I don't get this in check, so I shelled out $70 to be yelled at by a ridiculously handsome British instructor in a group of 12 sweaty, grunting women as we complain about pained crotches, sore thighs, lack of air, and really uncomfortable bike seats. Did I mention the pained crotches?

But dudes, I'm doing it. I'm on my bike every Tuesday for 45 minutes, which I know isn't much, but it's a start. And we're not just leisurely biking. We're increasing tension and standing up when we bike (how on earth did I do that so much as a kid?!), and doing sprints and hard climbs and more sprints and more hard climbs. The first week, I stopped for a breather under the guise of needing to pee. I felt like I was going to vomit. This week? I didn't get off the bike once. I stood when everybody else stood. I did sprints when everybody else did sprints. My underwear were soaked in the back because of all the sweating I did.

But I did it. I stink, I'm tired, I'm achey, and my crotch really hurts (did I mention the bike seats are not comfortable?), but I did it.

Two weeks down, ten to go. Size four pants, I'm looking at you.

A Better Wisp

2010-01-25T01:54:00.003-07:00

I promised better pictures of Wisp, and better pictures I shall post.

(It's really long)

:)

2010 On The Go!

2010-01-23T23:01:00.004-07:00

Well, despite having not blogged for a month, I really have gotten things done. The holidays came and went with hardly a stitch given, save from a pair of socks for my best friend and a sweater for my mom. I decided it was just too much to knit for everybody, and honestly, not everybody appreciates the time and effort of it, so I left my needles pretty cool. As usual, the holidays were very busy, though, with way too much food and drink.

New Year's was a quiet affair with Robbie and I mostly just reading and chatting and having a glass of wine as 2009 went and 2010 entered. And since then, I've been doing not much more than work and sleep. However, I have managed to knit one thing.

This is Wisp. The picture's not great (I just took it, and it's 11:00 at night, so, you know...), but when the sun comes up tomorrow (tomorrow...I'll love you, tomorrow...) I'll get a better picture. It came off my needles about a week or so ago, and I just bothered to block it and weave in all the ends. It's pretty, though, and the Zauberball makes the project, which is a pretty straight-forward (and boring) knit. To add some textural design to the scarf, I changed up the pattern slightly in alternate panels, with a YO, K1 for one panel and a K1, YO for the next. I actually liked the K1, YO better than the called-for YO, K1. It just seemed cleaner to me.

Troldeskov is doing well. I've had a lot of interest, which is great, and I'll be releasing the pattern for sale on Ravelry in just a few days. All my test knitters are finished, and for the most part, the pattern feedback was really positive. I do have a few things to adjust, such as some errors I made in the charting (sorry, folks. Check out the errata on Ravelry) and maybe a bit more clarity for my overseas friends who may knit the shawl. Overall, though, I'm extremely thrilled with the response that I've been getting on my first real design, and my husband has been encouraging me to design some more. I'm thinking a shawl based on Vulcans...hmmm...

Finally, I leave you with a bit of my day today. Elodie was transformed by the super powers of broccoli into Super Elodie, with the super power of cleaning up all her toys and eating all her lunch (and ice cream for desert!).

(so happy with how clean and shiny my Counter top looks in that last one. ;)

Troldeskov - Completed

2009-12-14T13:31:00.009-07:00

It's done. It's beautiful.

When I dyed this fibre back in September, I was going for a jewel-toned green. HAH! My dye pot laughed at me, and shattered my dye. The resulting Corriedale was green, blue, brown, red and yellow. It was, in one word, absolutely beautiful. I didn't wait until the fibre was completely dry to start spinning it. I just started.

I took the fibre with me to Airdrie Centennial's Homecoming Weekend where I was doing a spinning demonstration.

When it was plied, I had 600 yards of the prettiest laceweight. It was luminous, and I knew it had to be a shawl. I started searching for the perfect pattern, but no luck. No pattern really called to me. Alas, what's a girl to do? I started designing my own.

What would I use for inspiration?

In the country of Denmark, there are several forests with distinctive trees, called Troll Forests, Troldeskoven. The trees are old and knotted, their branches twisting whimsically in all directions. One particular Troldeskov, near Jels in southern Jutland, was my absolute favourite. There was one tree that bent right upside down and then reached for the sky again, forming a perfect circle.

For a young child, it was as if the forest was magical. Completely silent and still, one could hear the birds singing, examine all kinds of squishy little creatures, watch the sun filter through the leaves and peer through the spiraling trees for signs of the trolls who lived there.

Several years ago, a hurricane swept through Denmark, felling 80% of her forests. My forest was decimated. On a recent trip, I went to see what was standing of the Troldeskov. I was sad to see that it was dying, slowly being replaced by commercial tree farms.

This shawl is inspired by my memories.

It's perfect.

Troldeskoven's trees are so higglety pigglety, but they have a grace and beauty that are hard to find. The elements in this shawl try to emmulate that unexpected grace. They don't seem to belong to just one shawl, and yet they blend so nicely (and rather pleasantly for the designer, I might add).

It looks lovely with a pretty shawl pin and sits just so on my shoulders. This would be lovely in a heavier weight yarn on just right needles to be a warm fall shawl. The really lovely thing about the way this pattern is designed is that the knitter can make it as big or as small as they want. The elements, while dependent of each other, do not require a certain stitch count to work correctly. So, given plenty of yardage or minimal yardage, you can knit this shawl. As it were, I wanted it for when I return to Denmark next year for my grandfather's 90th birthday, when I will walk in the forests again.

One day, as I was knitting in The Knitting Room and visiting with the store manager and my friend, Annie, she was telling me all about how she's riding in this Ride to Conquer Cancer next year. She needs to raise $2,500 to do it. Well, since I was just going to submit the pattern for free on Ravelry anyway, why not help a friend out, says I? I know that knitters are pretty awesome people, and it's for a good cause.

So, friends, the pattern is written, charted, photographed and tested. I'm bringing it in to Annie later this week. Knit, enjoy and go for a walk in the woods. :)

Happy Thanksgiving Socks!

2009-10-11T23:43:00.004-06:00

Last night, I took a break from working on Troll Forest to finish up a pair of socks I'd been working on sporatically for the last month. Meet Eunice (rav link).

They're really sweet little socks, certainly not difficult, but just intruiging enough to keep you interested. They knit up fairly quickly, and I loved the colours of Koigu that I knit them out of. The sock yarn was gifted to me by Jocelyn after I spun her some yarn a while back.

It's hard to see, but the purple actually pools. It swirled down the leg and then went half-and-half with the other colours on the heels, and then spiraled around again on the foot. It's uber pretty. There is a bit more green in one skein than the other, but it's all good. I'm not one of those crazy perfectionist knitters. ;)

Cookie is a genius. Love her. The way the pattern all came together makes me realize that designing is not just about tossing some stitch patterns together and voila like I see time and time again. It's really about flow, balance and, well, designing. It was the perfect reminder for me, just as I'm struggling to transition into the second element of the shawl. Thanks, Cookie!

Design for a Cause

2009-10-08T21:26:00.003-06:00

I'm too lazy to ride bikes. WAY too lazy, and too fluffy. I'm working on it. I've never been one to be active, per se, but luckily for all of us, there are people out there who are. Annie is going to be partaking in the 2010 Ride to Conquer Cancer. Don't ask me how many kilometres she's going to be biking. I know it's a lot. It's more than I care to think. It makes my bones ache just thinking about it.

But she does have to raise $2,500 in order to partake, and I wanted to help. Especially wanted to help since I can't exactly bike along with her. Enter a new shawl design.

This is the first shawl I've ever designed. EVER. It's not done, obviously. This is only stage one, and there's still two more pattern elements to come up with before I cast it off, but I LOVE it. It's knit out of my own handspun, four ounces of corriedale that I dyed with Wilton's food colouring.

The colour is most accurate in the next picture.

I've already named it Troll Forest (or Trolleskov in Danish) because it reminds me of walking through my favourite forest in Denmark. Once it's completely written, which should be around the end of this month, you will be able to purchase the pattern from Annie for a nominal fee to support her in her ride. I'm realy excited about it!

After that, I'll keep the pattern up for sale, but if you are interested in knitting this, please purchase from Annie before June so that you can support her in her cause!

Hrmf.

2009-09-02T22:12:00.003-06:00

I don't like drama. I've never liked drama. Why is drama attracted to me? SRSLY. I'm not going to post too much about this because I think it's rather juvenile, to be honest, like some people can't get out of high school mode. Suffice it to say there is drama in my life right now, and I don't like it. Get out, drama.

I've been doing a lot of knitting in the face of said drama, and I have one-and-a-half pairs of socks to show you! WOW! Drama sure sucks, but it does wonders for my FOs. Also debating a work thing. Do I want to work full time outside the house, or continue on my road of self-employment? I make decent money being self-employed, and I love working in my jammies, but a reliable paycheck would be lovely, and interaction with other people keeps me sane. On the down side, I don't like getting up before 8:00, and working outside the home would surely require that.

Debates, debates. Speaking of work, I have a bunch of it to do now. Tune in again soon. I should have taken some pictures of my socks by then. They're comfy and warm and delicious.

Boo drama.

Super Busy Me.

2009-08-28T10:44:00.006-06:00

Okay. Okay, I know. I haven't posted in over a month. *Sorry*

Just a quick sum up, and then I have to get back to work:

1. Robbie and Elodie got home absolutely fine.

2. On the same day they got home, my cousin, his wife and two children flew in from Denmark for a visit.

3. Two days later, I was working in Calgary for two weeks, which was really hard (because I normally work from home, and I've been totally pampered of my own accord with naps and mid-day baths and food whenever I want).

4. My band rehearsed two nights a week leading up to a quick gig we had out at Sylvan Lake at a private party. Mucho fun.

5. After that, Elodie and I went to Grandma and Grandpa's house for four days (it was lovely and warm).

6. We're gearing up for Airdrie's Centennial Celebration, which will happen in Nose Creek Park on September 12. There will be live music (including our band from 4:00 to 5:00), lots of booths, and guess who is going to be doing spinning demonstrations all day! The 13th is a sort of showcase with plenty of places to shop. In fact, I think there may even be a yarn booth (but don't quote me on that one).

7. Overall, super busy, but good. Unfortunately, busy me means neglected house.

Still Here...

2009-07-22T00:48:00.004-06:00

Geez, what exactly did I do before I had a husband and a child? Apparently nothing. So far, I've managed to eat rather healthier than usual, sleep in every day and knit. And read. I've finished off Shogun (ugh, didn't like the ending AT ALL) and Atherton (turned out be the first in a series, so I guess I'll have to buy the others), and now I'm going to actually work tonight.

Yesterday was pretty much the crappiest day so far. I had been unable to find Robbie's cell phone for the life of me. I'd looked all through the house, all the places I'd been in the house, but no luck. So I figured, whatever, I'm just going to get back to work on the deck (oh, I'm refinishing the deck. Did I mention that?). I step outside, and ... well, I found the cell phone. It must've fallen out of my pocket the day before when I'd been outside, working on the deck.

Ah, yes, the day before, when I'd scraped and scraped and scraped that damned deck. That was just before the rainstorm hit. The huge rainstorm with the thunder that sounded like my windows were going to shatter. The terrible, horrid rainstorm that left half an inch of water on the ground. Oh, that rainstorm.

Well, at least the phone is clean.

Actually, I very nearly freaked out. See, I haven't owned a cell phone for, oh, four-odd years. This is Robbie's phone. I have, however, kept rather current with the fact that water plus cell phone equals bad. Very, very bad.

The phone was still on from the day before. There was a great deal of what we shall loosely call "humidity" under the screen, but otherwise it seemed okay. I flipped open the keyboard (it's one of those fancy new cell phones with a built-in QWERTY keyboard) and started to check out how bad the damage was.

The shortcut key didn't do much of a shortcut. It actually took me on a roundabout tour through the phone. Not good. Once I did get it to the screen where I could send a text message, I started pressing the buttons. C didn't work. At all. So I sent a text to Robbie.

"Will you please ring me as soon as possible? It's important."

Notice that there are no Cs in that message.

Anyway, long story kind of shorter, I frantically checked out the intertubes for ways to save a cell phone that had gotten wet. Most of them said that if you don't get to it within the first 20 minutes, tops, you may as well forget it. I would not forget it!!

One site suggested removing the battery and sim card (sin card? Shin card? The thing with all your contact information) and sticking the phone in a bag of rice overnight to absorb any and all excess moisture. I did just that and went to bed.

This morning, I tottered out of bed at 10:00, and I slowly wandered downstairs with the heavy pit of dread in my stomach. This was a $300 phone, and I was positive I'd totally fracked it up. Completely screwed. Afterall, the screen had started going all wonky the previous night as I tried to see how the drying process was...it had inverted the colours (like, the purples turned yellow, reds turned green, that kind of thing), and then it went black and white, and then it finally just looked damn near illegible without color or real tone.

I held my breath...and I switched on the phone. Well, whaddya know. The damn thing works. Completely. C works, shortcut button works, screen looks normal, everything. I'm going to remain cautiously optimistic until I see how well the thing charges. Provided it charges okay, I think I can do a little dance in my livingroom nekkid with the animals jumping with fits of joy beside me.

Speaking of animals, I think the little one is doing a pee dance. Time to brave the giant cat spider that's made his/her home directly above the back door and let them out. This adult thing is HARD.

Single Life

2009-07-18T11:48:00.003-06:00

Well, Robbie and Elodie had and interesting trip yesterday. We woke up at 3:30 a.m. to get them ready and were at the airport by 4:30. We checked them in and then went to hang out at Tim Hortons (breakfast of champions) while we waited for the 5:30 boarding time. Robbie's dad showed up and checked in, and we took Elodie to the bathroom, and then off to the security gate to say goodbye!

I can't lie and say that I didn't shed some tears - there were definitely tears shed. I left and went home for a little nap before I had to go into work at the office. That's when things went a little wonky.

At 7:15, the cell buzzed. It was Robbie texting to say that they still hadn't taken off (plane was supposed to leave at 6:05) and were sitting on the tarmac. There was a mechanical issue and then a radio issue and then a "oh, we forgot to put gas in the plane" issue. By 8:00, they were just getting ready to take off, and the plane finally got in the air at 8:30. They landed in Toronto at 1:57 CST, a full 27 minutes after their connecting flight had left.

Elodie was so tired and upset by this time that she pooped in her pants, even though she's been completely potty trained for a year and a half. This leads me to believe she was under a considerable amount of stress. Thankfully, Robbie brought a change of clothes.

They got booked in for a different flight, this time no longer direct to Deer Lake, but now stopping in Montreal. Oh, and arriving a full seven hours later than expected. Air Canada graciously (*cough*) provided them with a $12 voucher each for a meal while they waited for their trouble.

Finally, they were in the air. A 45 minute flight to Montreal and then an hour and a half to Deer Lake. They arrived at midnight Newfoundland time (8:30 here), grumpy, exhausted, hungry, but there. As a bonus, the airline didn't lose their luggage.

While their sage was taking place, I was tentatively enjoying my first single days since being a teenager. I lived on my own back when I was 18, but having lived with Robbie for the last five years, I was am slightly out of practice on this whole single thing.

I called my younger brother, and we went out for dinner. A thoroughly disgusting experience. I was eating my Wor Wonton Soup, and I'm thinking, what are these things floating in my soup? I look closer. About 30 bugs were floating lifelessly on top of the broth. Ew. Upon closer inspection, the bugs were being leached into the soup from an ill-washed peice of broccoli, thoroughly infested with the things. I mean, the broccoli was BLACK under the green top.

The restaurant didn't seem to appalled, and they offered to make me something new, or, you know, they could not charge me for my food, but they wouldn't make me something new. No problem, dude, I'm not hungry anymore. I also fully intend to call the health inspector about that one. You'd think hundreds of bugs imbedded in a piece of broccoli would call attention to themselves, but I digress.

We went back to Carsten's house for a beer to drown the little buggy parts in, and then I went home, read some of my book (Shogun), ate some chips, talked to Robbie (Elodie refused), and finally fell, exhausted, into my bed.

I woke up at 10:30 this morning.

So, provided that no bugs find their way into my dinner for the rest of the two weeks, I think this single life thing should be thoroughly relaxing. I do have plans to strip the deck of its horrific green paint and sand it and then waterproof it. Also maybe change the lattice. Perhaps remove the wall paper from the bathrooms and repaint them. But we'll see. For the next couple of days, I'm not doing ANYTHING.

T Minus Three

2009-07-15T08:11:00.003-06:00

As of Friday evening, my holidays will officially begin. There is an airplane involved, although I won't be on it. Moms, if you're reading this blog, sit down. NOW.

My husband and daughter are flying out to Newfoundland on Friday morning and leaving me at home. By myself. For two weeks.

I know!!!

So let me reiterate. I am taking my holidays, albiet working from home some, and trying to create some semblance of order in preparation of my cousin and his wife's visit with their two kids in the beginning of August, but still not doing anything strenuous. I will go to bed when I want. I will wake up when I want. I will eat what I want.

I will be free to go out with friends without worrying who will watch the kiddo. Hell, I can dance nekkid all around my house and not worry! Good Goddess, I'm so excited! I have every intention to knit and sleep and eat for two weeks and maybe fit in a few great books. I'm thinking a nice February Lady Sweater?

Oh, don't get me wrong. I'll miss my family - at least, near the end I'm sure I'll miss my family. I'm sorry to not be heading to Twillingate with the beautiful scenery, great food, amazing icebergs, but I'm SO excited to just have some time for myself. I've never done anything on my own for more than a day since Elodie was born, and if it weren't for the animals (damn it), it'd be like living on my own again.

I already have plans to eat sushi, drink wine, sing karaoke, hang out with buddies. I CAN'T WAIT!

ps. If you could all offer up a little positive thought for me, that I handle the eight hours of waiting I'm going to have to endure while my baby flies thousands of feet up in the air to her destination on Friday? I'm sort of an anxious flier (okay, that's an understatement), and I seem to be suffering from some minor transferrence.

Bored

2009-07-10T10:06:00.002-06:00

I'm sitting at work, done my work already for the day (yes, at 10:00 a.m.), but still needing to man the desk until 4:15. So I thought I'd write a little post to complain about the weather.

Seriously? WTF, mate? Have you looked outside? It's dull, dreary and grey. When is summer going to get here? We only get precious few months in this country to celebrate warm weather, and every day that we have like this, it scratches yet another day of sun off the calendar. It looks like November in Denmark outside. Blah.

So this is "climate change." Apparently our weather is turning coastal. Perhaps preparing for Vancouver to fall into the ocean? I don't know how long this is going to last, but it better hurry up and change! My vegetable garden is not growing like it should. The only thing really growing is the potatoes.

In other news, Elodie has started full time at the local day care. SHE LOVES IT. Why didn't we think of this sooner? After all the stress and worry about finding adequate childcare (because believe me, the last place was NOT adequate at all), we find it, and it's great, and I love it. She loves it. Everybody's happy. She eats great when she comes home at night because she's spent the entire day playing her little legs off. She's going to sleep well because she's totally exhausted from a day of hard play. And she's DOING stuff. No longer is she being babysat by the TV in the basement while I desperately try to get some work done, despite her constant interruptions. No longer do I feel guilty for ignoring her while I try to manage my business and house.

Life is good.

She and Robbie are heading off to Newfoundland for two weeks starting next Friday. Whatever shall I do? Knit? Sleep? Bathe? All three? Sounds good!

Four Years.

2009-07-06T08:05:00.003-06:00

At almost exactly this moment, four years ago, my mother-in-law passed away from lung cancer. I can't believe it's been four years already. And yet, I can't believe it's only been four years.

Vera was diagnosed on May 5, 2005 and passed away July 6, 2005. I’d only known her for a few short months, but like so many who had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know her, she was immensely special to me. She remains special to me. She is the reason I took up the needles again.

Before, knitting had been a passing hobby. It was something I’d learned to do when I was in the early teens, taught the knit stitch and a very rudimentary cast-on by a friend. Acrylic yarn and big, plastic needles were the only things I knew how to knit with, and I wasn’t really a fan. It was relaxing, but also completely infuriating at the same time.

So instead, I crocheted. It was okay, but I coveted knit fabric. The drape, the prettiness. I wanted to do that! Instead, my fabric was inelastic, inflexible.

After meeting my now-husband, Robbie, I began to expand as a person. I came out of my shell a lot, accepted the person I am, and I became an adult. I met his parents, and I LOVED them. His mother was everything I wanted in an extended family. She was smart, funny, beautiful, and handy. She could lay a hardwood floor during the day and knit a sweater at night.

Her yarns of choice were acrylics, fun furs, and everything I now refuse to knit with, but she was one of those rare knitters that could turn the flat-out ugliest yarns on the planet into beautiful, functional pieces. Regular handicraft cotton became delicate shawls. Pink fun fur became adorable baby sweaters. Scratchy acrylic transformed into soft, durable sweaters.

When Vera passed, our lives fell into two categories. Pre-death and post. For weeks after she passed, each time the phone rang, we would think, is this Vera? And now, four years later, I still wonder how our lives would be different, how they would be better, if she were still here. She would dote on our daughter, her first grandchild who never had the pleasure of meeting her. There would still be dinners at her house, she’d still be married to Robbie’s step-dad. Together, they’d have six grandkids now, up from zero four years ago.

There’d still be phone calls and jokes and great clothes as Christmas gifts. Her knitting basket and needles and yarn would not be sitting in my house, but in hers. Our family would not be missing something. I would not cry every time I hear Amazing Grace, and I would not have strange urges to wander the halls of Unit 47 of the hospital I work in.

I would not miss.

I miss her.

Praise be to Buffalo

2009-07-04T20:20:00.004-06:00

Ron (BuffaloGuy - Rav link) is the owner of Buffalo Gold. He and his wife, Theresa, have made their way from Texas to the Calgary Stampede this year. On Ravelry, they asked us in the Alberta Knitters Group if they should bring yarn. "YES!" we practically shouted, "YES! Bring yarn!"

I asked them if they'd bring fibre, and not only did they bring fibre, but they said they'd make a gift of 1 oz of buffalo down for any Ravelers who come to the booth.

This is what I adore about the fibre world. People who I don't know are giving $40 worth of fibre away to people that they don't know all because we DO know that we're knitters. We're fibre people. How awesome is that?

Anyway.

Today, I went to the Calgary Stampede.

Haleluia.

Veil of Isis

2009-07-02T14:33:00.003-06:00

So beautiful!

Knit with Colourmart 100% Cashmere. YUM. This is a gift for my cousin's fiancee, Ashley. Modelled by the ever-lovely Terra.

The beads (which are rather hard to see) are only on the border. I used far more than called for, and they're a really nice smoky purple/green/blue hue. I am SO happy with this knit. I hope Ashley likes it!

Knit in just under two months.

Must-Knit list

2009-05-23T15:37:00.003-06:00

Yoinked from Annie. These are my must-knit patterns from my queue on Ravelry.

Linea. I LOVE this shirt. If only, if only I was still a skinny mini. Unfortunately, I gave up on my size fours, but I'm still holding out hope for the sixes. ;)

Kiehkuralapaset - Swirly Mittens. I queued a lot of mittens over the winter, but these still stand out for me. They're absolutely lovely, and I think if they were knit in Noro, they'd be stunning.

Versatility. This picture makes it a little hard to see, but it's a really interesting design. It's essentially a long stole, but with one side of buttons and the other side of button holes, not to mention a pretty ribbon, it can be worn lots of different ways.

B16-10 Jacket from Drops Design.

The always-stunning Burridge Lake Aran Afghan. Nuff said.

Currently, Veil of Isis is coming along nicely. Only one more repeat before I'm at the edging. No pictures yet. I want to get it all done, blocked and beautiful before I show you all. I nixed the idea of silk. After working with it, I wasn't getting the effect I desired. So I ordered in some really beautiful misty grey cashmere from ColourMart for $32, and it's perfect.

Mom's sweater has returned to me for alterations. Only about half a foot more length, she says. *sigh*

Happy Birthday to you.

2009-04-30T01:08:00.003-06:00

Guess whose birthday it is tomorrow?

That's right! Elodie is turning three! I don't know how time has possibly flown this quickly. Elodie entered the world in a daze of lights and noise, and she's entirely consumed our world ever since. It seems that just yesterday, we looked met our gummy little walnut of a baby, and now she's grown up into a real, live person! Parenthood was the last thing on our minds at that time, and now it's all we think about.

Is she eating right, is she learning her manners, will she function well in school, is she getting enough Vitamin D? How are we going to instill responsibility in her, and how will do we possibly let her go to school one day, and will the kids be mean? What do we do when she gets hurt or cries, how do we make everything perfect and safe?

It seems like I've never been questioned so much in my life (why, why, why?), and there are days when I think back to the days of sleeping in, staying out late, spending all my money, and I miss it. But then I think, well, sleep is for suckers, staying out late is for conformists, and I didn't have all that money to begin with. Life is much better now.

Elodie runs now, which is such an amazing change. I know that it doesn't seem like a big deal, since she's been running for since she was 16 months old, but I mean, she outstrips me. She's FAST. It's amazing that our helpless baby has such motor control that she can draw a face -- albiet a wonky, gibbled face, but I digress. She can comb her hair, is learning to tie knots, and can button her own clothes. She picks out her outfits, has distinct color preferences (pink generally will out), and I think if she could surround herself with a million cats, she would.

She understood what Christmas was this year. She learned about Santa and that he was going to bring her gifts. She got excited about the tree, the lights, the food, the family. She still begs to wear her Christmas dress. She loved decorating, wrapping presents, singing Jingle Bells, her stocking, the snow globes -- everything.

Of course Robbie and I were pooped after Christmas, but she just asked if we could do it again.

She also has become a pet owner. This is Star, her new pet mouse. She loves her, and she feeds her and helps clean the cage and gives her fresh water. She likes holding her, and she's so very gentle (most of the time). Although she's interested as to why Mommy and Daddy refuse to let her show the kitty her new mouse, she at least accepts that the kitty and Star would not play well together.

Of course, there are the procession pictures:

Newborn:

First:

Second:

Third:

I can't express in something as simple as words how grateful I am that she is my daughter, that I am her mother, and that we are learning and growing together each day. Thank you, Elodie, for being such a brilliant, beautiful daughter. I love you.

Long Time Gone

2009-04-21T14:08:00.003-06:00

I've been gone. For a long time. Hence, the title of my thread.

Many, many developments. So. Where to begin? Christmas came and went to great success. I sent home socks with my grandfather and mother, mitts to my dad, a scarf to my grandma. They are enjoying their new homes. I also found out that my grandmother used her Stolen Moments Wrap from last year to tie her bumper back onto her car when it fell off one day. I believe me initial reaction was "You used an angora/merino scarf to retie on your bumper? Are you INSANE?!", but grandma insists that the scarf was gently washed afterward and suffers no ill effects.

After much humming and hawing, I applied for a job outside the home. While I didn't get the full-time position originally sought, I was offered a casual position, and I've worked 160 hours in the last month and a half doing it. The steady income in nice, and I'm also able to continue doing my own job. Further to this, it's freed up considerable knitting/spinning/crafting time in the evenings. Much obliged.

Elodie went back into a dayhome. I can't say I'm thrilled. She sobs each morning when she finds out she can't stay home with Mommy. I love the kid to bits (obviously), and this new dayhome is not as good as the last one. It breaks my heart to leave her there each morning.

As far as knitting, once again, no pictures. I just haven't had any daylight time to take those pictures, and so I'll have to do that now that the days are getting brighter and longer. The sun is a much-welcomed sight.

Currently, I've got four things on the needles:
1) Pair of socks
2) Sweater for mom's birthday (April 25th! I still have two sleeves to do. Can I make it? I'm seriously questioning my sanity on this one).
3) Veil of Isis for my cousin's fiancee. They're getting married in March, and this is my surprise gift to her. It's going to be cashmere!!!
4) Robbie's Urban Aran Cardigan. I cast this on in November, and it's just taking a while. Only the sleeves left now (and seeming, of course).

I've started all my seeds for this summer's garden. We've got pumpkins, broccoli, cauliflower, zucinni, peas, beans, carrots, beets, corn and potatoes. I can't wait for my fresh garden produce. I'm also considering doing some strawberries, but I've always killed them off in the past.

Elodie turns three on the 30th, and I can't believe how quickly she's growing. She has officially got her own pet now. Robbie and I bought her a little wee mouse last Saturday, and she's SO in love with it. She's named it Star (I'm so glad she stopped naming things by their actual name - mouse, cat, dog, puppy, etc). Each night before she goes to bed, she holds it, makes sure it has water, food and timothy hay, and then she wishes it good night and goes to bed. Also turns out a mouse is super easy to take care of.

My Bedstefar has a little run into the hospital last month. He was up and about, getting his lawn all ready for spring, and he ended up having a minor stroke. He's okay, but it still reminds me that each moment I've had the priveledge of spending with him is precious. I'm still really afraid that this past November will be the last time I'll have seen him alive.

Well, I'm back. I promise I'm back. I will be back. Next time, hopefully, with pictures!!!

Nada

2008-12-11T23:33:00.003-07:00

I've got nothing. It's been a month, that's for sure. Since coming home from Denmark, we've been rather tight on cash since I didn't work for three weeks last month. Add to it the stress of the holidays and our rabbit Willow passing suddenly and you have a stressed out family.

Willow, our dear bunny, passed a few weeks ago, as I said. It wasn't unexpected, but just surprising. He was a very old rabbit, eight years, and his health had been deteriorating over several months. Robbie and I have been dealing with it fairly well, but Elodie is still very confused about where Willow went. We've tried to explain that he's in a better place (she wants to go to a better place, too, apparently), that he was sick and died (now she's worried that she's going to die because she's sick), and that he's gone to live with Nan (when's he coming back?).

For what it's worth, Willow was a great rabbit with lots of personality. The first time I held him, he unbuttoned three buttons on my shirt and attempted to undo my jeans button. I promptly accused Robbie (who I was not yet dating) of training his rabbit. He would make houses for himself out of blankets, adored carrots and would knock your hand over for attention.

He had silky-smooth fur and his eyes were both half blue, half brown. When you scratched between his ears, his eyes would slowly droop until he was fast asleep.

Christmas knitting is going forth steadily, hence the lack of pictures. Half my recipients read the blog (I think), and so I can't exactly go touting the amazingness of me on the blog with their presents displayed for all to see. Trust me. The amount of knitting is startling.

In happy news, my cousin Martin and his wife, Rikke, shown previously in this post, are the proud new parents of a 8.5 pound baby girl! I wish them all the best!

A little plug here before I bid you all adieu. The Natural Bardo is creating the most beautiful laptop holders. If anybody is looking for a unique and functional piece of art for your desk, check these out. They'd make great Xmas presents, too, for that hard-to-buy-for someone. Don't I know someone like that...

Finally, folks, I must get back to work. This recession thing sucks, but I get paid in American dollars. So there's something to owning your own business and having the Canadian dollar plumet suddenly. The more I work, the bigger my "bonus" when I head to the bank to cash the check. Definitely appreciated.

(EDITED TO ADD: Keep knittinggrammy and her husband in your thoughts. Her hubby had quite a fall, and he's going to be off his feet for a long, long time. If anybody knows of any patterns for a cast cover, send them along to her.)

Denmark, in (Limited) Pictures

2008-11-27T09:43:00.003-07:00

Unfortunately, during our trip to Denmark, the camera was not working for a good portion. *sob*

Here are a sampling of the 50 pictures I did manage to take on the three days I managed to take them.

The first day in Denmark, we visited my grandmother's grave site

We made sure to go to the lake

We took Elodie to an old Lutheran church (her first time in a church, actually).

Every Danish Lutheran church has a ship, with the front facing the front of the church.

We checked out the ocean

We went to the aquarium in Esbjerg where we saw them feed the seals

And Elodie enjoyed the Maritime portion of the museum.

Elodie played with my cousin's kids (all but two of the ten cousins on that side have kids now).

We had dinner at a different family member's house every night. My disgustingly handsome cousin, Martin, and his wife, Rikke, treated us like kings on our night there.

It was mostly a trip of hanging around Bedstefar's house, enjoying the garden and moody weather.

Bedstefar spoiled Elodie to no end. She got ice cream every night.

It was a little cold in the mornings.

But when the sun came out, it was glorious.

We played hide and seek in the forest. Turns out that it's not my dad's strong suit (you can see him in red behind the tree).

I was sad to see that my favourite forest is dying.

But there's still life.

And some beautiful scenery, of course.

It was a great trip, although I'm totally sick now. It always happens when I fly. I catch some awful cold from a fellow flier. Ick. I knit a whole bunch, and hopefully I'll have pictures of the completed projects (plural!!!) before the week is through.